Typical

Today was a packing day. I'm taking one large suitcase and a carry-on travel bag with me to London.

Don't be misled by these things. The suitcase is very large. It can carry two suits (in one of its compartments, two pairs of shoes and I reckon 20 litres of clothes and books. It has a retractable handle and wheels thank goodness.

To think, until about a decade ago suitcases were never designed like this. Over a century of uncomfortable-to-carry travel luggage.

My carry-on is a soft vinyl bag. But although it's allowed onto airplane cabins it's big. In it I'll be taking my laptop (in a bag), my big electronic thing for self-testing blood, a pair of trainers (sneakers) and a few other things.

As well as packing I also found that my Palm no longer receives email. Just when I'm most likely to need that facility.

I tried loads of things then phoned my mobile phone company's support service. They had no idea. Eventually I tried changing my password (over the web, not with their assistance) and it started working. Remember it had worked fine on Wednesday. I reckon they made a configuration change on one of their servers and hadn't informed users or their own support people.

I also set up my Palm to receive AvantGo news feeds. I ran into some error messages. I looked at the support pages and news groups off their site. No help at all. Eventually I looked at my firewall and reconfigured it to let AvantGo work.

In both cases I was disappointed in the ability of the support given by the companies.

Today I applied for no jobs and received no bites. But, hey, it's a Saturday. And I've got a job which starts on Monday.

More good news

Yesterday I found my business card holder.

Right now I can't be bothered (read "arsed") to work out how to link to the posting about business cards. It's one of my earlier postings if you're interested.

And you should be because it's packed full of good advice about this subject.

This is not a case of "oh how ironic - finding your business cards after securing a job".

It's now I've got a job that referring to and collecting business cards becomes important - as part of my to-be-renewed networking campaign. Networking is so much more effective whilst you're in a job.

I've already booked my name for a BCS seminar in London next week. As well as an interesting chat on whatever there should be an opportunity to meet others in the industry. The organisers tends to be pretty blatant about this.

(Girls: BTW I'm not one of those smarmy types who goes round, lounge-lizard style, shaking everyone's hand and giving them business cards. Rather I have the natural gregariousness of The Smiths' lead singer but I am trying to reach a happy medium).

Where did I find it? Hidden away in a box full of books. I've no idea when I placed it there or why - as in why on earth.

Another call

For the last couple of days I've been phoning and emailing recruitment consultants who have kept in contact with me.

On Tuesday I had also phoned an agency in the Netherlands about a management job in The Hague.

She said she'd send me a full job description and asked me to quantifiy my experience for the technologies it would mention.

When the job description arrived I found they had a very specific technical requirement. Some of the database technologies I hadn't even heard of. The others, well I've managed people who managed people who looked after those things.

Rather than phone her I thought it would be adequate to send a nice email to her explaining that it seems I my experience wasn't suitable after all.

Had she been in the UK I would have phoned her, but trans-national calls are relatively expensive in the EU.

Today she called me. She said that the client didn't want a techie manager but a team and people leader. I defy anyone to have determined that from the job description sent.

Anyway, it's another examply of why it's always important to phone in these situations, rather than just email. She would have recommened me for an interview but I then told her about my new role on Monday.

Like everyone else to whom I've spoken, she was pleased for me and asked me to call her when the interim role has finished. She may then have some other role in the Netherlands suitable for me.

Jab

I was going to have my regular blood test on Monday. But as I'll be away (working in the City) I had to re-arrange it.

It turns out there's a blood sampling clinic on Friday mornings. I don't know whey they didn't tell me to go to this one originally.

So today, I got up early (for almost anyone) and went along.

There I was dealt with by a nurse who perhaps had had too much coffee.

As well as taking a sample of my blood ("ow") she also tested my blood pressure. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was elevated, in response to her darting around alarmingly. But no, it was fine.

She also asked if I had enough of my prophalactic medication. Damn, I'd hadn't thought of this. It would be a nuisance to quickly sign-on to a doctor's practice in London just to get a repeat prescription. She quickly (I don't think she has another mode) got a prescription printed off and signed by a doctor.

Then, she asked me if I'd like a flu jab. I'm not actually in the category for flu jabs (i.e. elderly or immune compromised) but I quickly thought about it and "yes, that would be nice".

"Ow"

Now feeling ever so slightly flu-ey as you would after such a jab. This was a good idea of her's. I haven't been living in London for over a year so I could easily have picked up any flu going around. Hopefully this has saved me from a big sick-leave early in my new job.

Dedication

The postings today on this site are due to the terrestial television schedulers of BBC, ITV and Channel 4.

I would have happily sat down and vegged out on TV. But no chance, not with the dross that's on.

For some reason channel Five isn't available on the set but I see no reason to correct this. Also, I don't see any reason to get cable or satellite TV; it seems the more choice you have the less choice you have.

I know this is straying danagerously into the Dire Straits' realm of "fifty odd channels and nothing on TV" or something.

Dire Straits are not one of my favourite groups, to put it mildly. I felt they peaked with "Sultans of Swing" and then went downhill badly. Oh, and I'm right about this so don't argue.

So, although I'd really like to veg out in front of the TV the schedulers have snookered me in a four pronged pincer movement (if that's possible) of rubbish.

Not giving up

I've received quite a few good wishes, including one posted as a comment on this blog.

Thank you all.

Just because I've got a job doesn't mean I've stopped looking. I'm made of sterner stuff than that.

This job is a seven month assigmemt so I'll be back on the job market during the middle of next year. Meantime I'm going to cultivate my network - this is much easier to do when you're in a job.

I will be posting to this site during the next half-year, though not as frequently as recently.

I'll also be updating my business building blog, hopefully with more regularity than recently.

And I still have things on my list to write for this blog: OneNote, the useless recruiter etc.

So, I'd recommend a RSS reader.

Another quiet day

I didn't apply for any jobs, nor did I receive any bites.

I did, however, contact a few agencies to tell them I'd be starting work soon.

One thing I did manage to do was to book an Aparthotel in London for two weeks. I can't really look for longer term accommodation until I'm in the city. Hopefully this won't be long as hotels aren't at all cheap. Considering the short notice I'm lucky to get a two week booking.

I also rearranged some appointments.

Second day of no applications

Like Monday, it's just about impossible to job hunt on the same day as you go for an interview.

Today I applied for no jobs, I had no bites, and one offer which I accepted.

Reading

Many years ago I went to the University of Reading (in the UK).

I used to say its full name was the University of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic but no-one got the joke.

Today I went to Reading for an interview. It took a four hour journey on several trains and a five minute walk to get there.

Whilst I was crossing London for the connecting train my phone indicated I had a voice-mail message.

I had to wait a while until I had proper signal before I could access it. (Unlike the Helsinki underground mobile phones in London don't work in the tunnels and subterrainian stations).

The message was from the company I saw in London on Monday. They had decided to offer me a fixed term contract for seven months rather than a pesky daily rate. Also the salary they were offering me was rather good. In fact it was a no-brainer so I verbally accepted.

In English law a verbal acceptance is sufficient for a contract to exist.

I once went to a then very large company for a series of interviews. At the end of the sessions they told me that they couldn't afford not to employ me.

They later changed their minds, they could afford not to employ me after all. Where are they now? They no longer exist.

So I asked this company to send me a summary of their offer by email (I can pick up emails using my Palm Pilot combined with my mobile).

I then settled back and carried on with my journey to Reading (well, I carried on because I was on a train going there, I didn't really have a choice).

Unusually for the UK all the trains and connections were on time so I arrived very early for the interview. Their office was in a business park. A very standard business park with trees, a lake, fountains, swans and ducks.

You can't really turn up at an office for an interivew more than 10 minutes ahead of schedule, even if you do call it a meeting.

It was a cold day and the seats in the park were all wet. So I stood, for 45 minutes, in the cold, wishing there weren't fountains within earshot and trying not to think about going to the toilet.

The interview went well I think. It lasted over the alloted hour. Unfortunately I was the first person they've seen and they will be seeing others next week.

Before I left their office, before signing out I asked for the "restroom". Great North American term. I learnt to use it when I was in Vancouver a couple of years ago. In fact I was in a Safeway there one evening and asked an assistant for the restroom. "Go down aisle eight" he said.

I'm too English to urinate down an aisle of a supermarket but I eventually found the toilet. As far as I could guess, not having been in those social circles, it was mainly used for shooting up heroin. I must have been the first person to use it for its original purposes for a long time.

Today, having used the company's restroom I then checked my mobile phone. It indicated that I had emails (my service provider sends me SMS messages every time I receive an email, for free). One was from the company I'd spoken to today. They had sent the confirmation details. I replied with an acceptance. I start on Monday.

On the way home I tried to debrief the recruitment agent who had arranged today's interview. His phone was engaged so I sent him an email and will advise him of the change in circumstances tomorrow.

Tomorrow

Off to Reading for another interview (first one was by telephone last week).

The company isn't actually in Reading but a neaby town. I'm dreading the train journey there, our transport infrastructure is terrible these days.

Catch up

Not having hunted all of yesterday I had a marathon job hunting session today.

I must have skimmed over 5,000 job postings.

Oh, the irony.

First thing this morning I sent "stop bloody emailing me" automated messages to www.theitjoboard.com

For some reason they had started emailing me again even though I cancelled their service a few months ago.

Then I looked at www.jobserve.com. Boy was it having problems, I was getting a lot of timeout errors. I emailed their technical support people who claimed no-one else was having problems.
I even tried it with IE (I've converted to Firefox now as my main browser).

Still didn't work.

So, I then had to go back to www.theitjobboards.com's site to job hunt.

This afternoon JobServe started working again (actually it may have been something to do with my ISP though I doubt it).

Today I applied for three jobs. I also spoke to an agency - my Favourite Agency (because they got me a job last year) - about a role for which I applied on Sunday. They said I was very suited and sent my c.v. to the client (once I'd resent it because they couldn't find the one I sent on Sunday). That's a bite.

Yesterday

I spent the whole day travelling to, being in and then travelling back from, London.

The interview at 2pm went well. Although it's for an interim role they were very scrupulous and advised me that they'll be interviewing someone else. They also said that the second stage would involve meeting directors.

Today they phoned and asked what I was looking for. I thought they meant career choices etc, but they actually meant money. I gave them a figure which seems to be the market rate at the moment.

It's actaully quite difficult to give a realistic rate these days as there's so much volatility in the UK IT job market. I stressed that in giving the figure I didn't want to negotiate myself out of the job.

There are two rules of negotiation which I generally follow:

• if you can't walk away from the deal you can't negotiate
• who ever gives a figure first (price, salary, rate etc) loses

Technically I can walk away from this job. I'm not facing house repossesion or bailiffs at the door. But I rather would like the job. It may only be for a few months and it has a lot of exposure to mainstream technologies and it's back in the City.

Again, rather than try to get them to quote a figure I thought it better to advise them on what I observe is the market rate. If they were thinking of a higher figure well so be it. What I quoted is an acceptable amount to live on in London these days.

We'll see.

Job of the day

Not sure if this was posted today but that's when I saw it as part of my surveillance:

"Background should be from network and infrastructure but focusing on the business and supply chain elements rather than IT."

?

?
?

Is it me? I think these requirements are contradictory.

Briefly

As I won't be able to job hunt tomorrow (interview in London) I thought I'd better go through jobs posted betweeen 3pm Friday (when I stopped looking) and now.

This involved skimming through about 1000 job postings across two web sites.

I managed to apply for three jobs. This is much better than on Friday when I couldn't apply for a single job. It seems advertisers were waiting until I finished looking for the day, then posted their requirements (all three jobs were posted late afternoon on Friday).

Interim

The interview I'm having on Monday is for an interim management position.

Until recently I thought blogs were written mainly by:

• people who don't want George Bush to be president
• people who don't want John Kerry to be president
• women in Singapore who like teddy bears

Then, when looking for private equity finance for the business we're establishing, I found that blogging is primarily for VC-ers.

Not only is there copious information but the sites are also very well written and designed. So far I haven't found one which has featured a teddy bear.

So, now that I'm being considered for an interim management role I thought I'd look to see if there were any blogs on this subject.

I did a Google search and indeed there were results. But they were mainly about an interim manager brought in to run some US baseball team.

There weren't any blogs on the day-to-day diaried activies of an interim in a business.

Oh well, if I get this job I may have to start one.

The reason for the dearth

I've got a feeling that next week is a half-term holiday for UK schools.

If so, that would explain the dearth of applications for this week: there were two days when I couldn't apply for any jobs.

Some dearth though: I still managed to apply for 20 jobs. And received six bites.

Another bad day

Today I couldn't find any jobs to which I could apply.

This was despite looking in the afternoon as well as in the morning; I hardly ever look on Friday afternoons.

I also phoned agencies who I had emailed during the week. Some of the responses were:

• you're too senior for this role
• the job has already gone
• it's a company to which I had applied, via another agency, a few months ago.

The last was a bit annoying. I had a very good chat with the recruitment agent. He concluded by telling me the name of the client and was just about to send me the job spec.

Damn. I had gone for a test with them some months ago. It was a mix of a standard test and their own, home-brewed one.

I normally do quite well on the standard test they were using (I've been tested with this by other companies). However, with this company I think I did generally quite badly. I had got up very early (by anyone's standards) and had had a horrendous journey by train. By the time I got there I could hardly write my own name.

Anyway I think these sorts of tests are insulting, especially to an experienced science graduate. That should be enough to show I'm reasonably numerate etc.

Job of the day

This one included the phrase: "Send your most recent CV ASAP ...".

So, what's wrong with the c.v. I wrote a while back, using the Gothic typeface? Or an even earlier one written in Sankrit?

I never send my most recent c.v., never.

Next thing you know ...

I sent my details to an agency on Tuesday and phoned them a few hours afterwards.

The agent hadn't seen my c.v. but discussed the role and said he'd get back to me.

He didn't.

I managed to get through to him today and he told me he'd forwarded my details to the client.

Great, so that's a bite. But I would have liked him to check with me first once he'd read my c.v.

[See my post about the hierarchy in the recruitment world]

Suspicions of lethargy

This morning I couldn't find any suitable jobs.

It felt like a repeat of the whole of yesterday when I couldn't find any jobs worthy of an application.

Was this the turning point in the up-till-now bullish IT market?

Was it lethargy? I've applied for so many jobs that maybe I'm not looking properly and had become dismissive.

Was it cockiness? Well I've got at least two interviews next week. I'm sorted me.

Fortunately, things picked up this afternoon, more appropriate specifications appeared on the web sites and I was able to apply for seven jobs.

Relieved

The agency who advised me that their client may want to interview me today or tomorrow didn't call back.

I'm relieved. Had they interviewed me this week and made an offer then I wouldn't be able to go ahead with the interview on Monday for the interim job.

This interim job would be ideal - at least in some respects as I don't know the details yet. It would be great because:

- it gets me into the interim management space (a small space with potentially lots of money as the IT job market improves)
- it may mean I can then take this job in Paris, assuming they like me etc
- or it may mean I can take the job in Duesseldorf once they get a move on. I phoned the agency today and the agent reckons things may start happening soon (well it's only been 18 months).

So, for once, I'm relieved that an agency hasn't come back with an interview date. They're actually a very good agency so I know they will get back to me.

How things change

The Worst Recruitment Agency in The World is no longer The Worst Recruitment Agency in The World.

Though they're probably still the Worst Recruitment Agency in the The UK.

They phoned me today, from Paris, to update me on a position for which I applied last week. What's more it was just a courtesy update, no real news.

Amazing, if only more of the other agencies were like that.

Unfortunately I had to tell them that although I'm still very interested, I am now getting interviews in England. They were disappointed it wasn't for jobs in France but I can't be too choosy.

What can I do? It'd be so much better if I did get this job in Paris, an ideal location for me, but the important thing is to get the first suitable job going.

Job of the day

Compare and contrast:

"Our large London client requires a 2nd/3rd line support engineer with extensive exposure to Landesk to provide support & implementation resource to a number of customers within the M25. You will need 2 years experience in a 2nd/3rd line support role supporting desktops/ laptops & Servers. You will also have excellent knowledge of Win 9x/2000/XP, Win 2000/2003 Server, Landesk Desktop Manager. Managing your own time effectively, being customer focused and working productively without supervision are all essential skills. The role will involve travel so you will need a full driving license & possibly own car."

with

"A Landesk Engineer is required for a roaming role within the wild plains of the M25 - well not quite. You'll be based within sight of London Bridge (we'll try & get you an office with a view) and will be hunting down customers offices throught Greater London. Good tracking skills will be necessary to find sales-reps in the field to instal & manage LANdesk Management Suite on desktops & laptops. You 'll need a good background in desktop support 9x-XP & 2000/2003 Server, buffalo hunting, LAN/WAN Ethernet topology, tepee erection, & a whole host of the stuff usually find on Line Manager wish lists when it gets near Christmas - Crystal Reports, Remedy, SQL, XML, ITIL & project awareness. You will need the willingmess to travel to the wilder corners of the UK - where ? - well probably the Midlands & South Coast ( Hey John - thats outside the M25 - do they need a passport for that ?? _ no ? - OK ) expensed saloons will be arranged - or - or - if you prefer - Desktop Engineer required with 2 years experience of 9X-XP, with 2000/2003 Server, LAN.WAN topology, LAndesk. You will be able to manage your own time between clients, & able to understand business requirements & structured proposals. Must be willing to travel. Nah, isn't that dreary - stick to the first."


Same job, same agency, different agents, different, er, approaches. Sadly not a suitable job for me.

Oh yes

So how did the telephone interview go?

Very well, thank you. The interviewer asked me to spend around 15-20 minutes going through my career history. Six minutes later I had gone through over a decade of work. As most of you won't know I speak very slowly. When I give presentations I have to speed up my speech rather than slow it down like most people. Still, I am succinct (sometimes).

This brevity, however, seemed to be well received. The interview proceeded. I don't remember actually getting too much opportunity to sell my skills and experiences but she started to talk about meeting in person.

The interview concluded nicely and I phoned the recruitment agent handling it to give him a debrief.

Although I was pleased at the response I know that being told you've got the job, or the second interview, means nothing. It needs to be a bit firmer.

Three hours later the agent phoned me to arrange a second interview, face-to-face, next Wednesday.

Alien abduction

This morning I tried to phone everyone I had emailed yesterday.

Nearly all of them were on voicemail. That's very unusual. What was going on? Was it alien abduction, again? I didn't leave any VM messages as they'd only call back whilst I'm having my telephone interview.

Some recruiters had clearly been spared as they called me on my mobile.

Quite a few weeks ago I had contacted an agency about a contract in Cork. Like so many jobs I see this went on hold, indefinitely. However the agency, and their client, remembered me.

There's now a contract role going in London. The agency phoned me, checked I was still available (and not abducted by aliens), and happy to put my name forward. He even thought they may want to interview me tomorrow but that's now too late.

The company who was going to get back to me yesterday about an interview phoned me today. I'm not annoyed about this, rather this counts as a speedy response these days. I meet with them on Monday in London (this is for an interim mangement role and I was recommended to them by a friend).

Just as well I received these calls today. Despite looking at over 1000 job postings I couldn't apply to even one of them.

Improvements

According to The Register there's a significant improvement in the IT sector (UK at least).

About bloody time too.

I checked JobStats and the market is still on its point of inflection.

You'll have to wait until November before I release another graph of demand (for people like me).

Hanging on

My Job of the Day section no longer includes badly written adverts (most of the time anyway). There's just too many.

Yet if I was to exclude mentioning when recruiter say they'll phone, then don't ... well this would be one of the shorter blogs around.

This morning an agency did just that. Phoned me, said they'll call back a little later but didn't. I'll call them tomorrow.

And a company phoned about an interesting situation. They now need an interim manager and think I might fit the bill (my name was forwarded to them by a friend). We discussed possible interviews days ("any day") and they said they'd get back to me in a few hours. I think I need to give them quite a few hours longer.

Today I applied for eight jobs and received one new bite. So far I've applied for 11 jobs this week, that's well above my target and it's only Tuesday.

Job of the day

Today I was sent a job spec for a particular role, this included:

"... prefer not to have someone from the construction industry as they are not in the main big enough and not professional enough."

And this was for a company in the construction business!

Security clearance

I don't go for jobs requiring security clearance for one of the following reasons:

A. I'm a major league criminal who has had lots of convictions
B. I'm head of an active service unit for the Chelsea Liberation Front (campaigning vigourously for a Chelsea which is independent from Kensington)
C. my membership of the KGB is still active
D. I can't be arsed to fill out the forms and wait many months for SC status.

If you selected any answer other than D go away, I don't want you reading my blog.

I was actually security cleared when I worked for an investment bank in the City some years ago. I also had to sign the Official Secrets Act. But security clearance only lasts for six months (I think) after you've left that position.

Familiarity

It wasn't easy but I eventually accepted that when writing a covering email for a job you address the person by their first name.

Even though you haven't been formally introduced to them.

If I wrote "Dear Mr Whatever ..." it would come across as too formal in today's modern England (I blame the abolition of child labour and the end of the poor house).

Of course it's near impossible to formally address a female recruiter. They never give their title (Miss or Mrs). You can't hedge with Ms as it's a bit old-fashioned now. Nor can you call their company's office and ask. They'll probably be offended but more likely won't know. In anycase your marital status should be confidential within a company.

So, like everyone else I address covering emails with a "Dear Ben" or "Dear Gill". Even the "Dear" bit may seem formal to some. I get quite a lot of emails with "Hi John" even though the writer and I are strangers.

I've never been called "buddy" by a consultant (or indeed by anyone outside of Somerset). Until today. He called from the agency who had called me 15 minutes earlier (that agent forgetting he had already spoken with me recently).

This one called about a job for which I had just applied. He's sent me the job spec and called me buddy a few more times. Quite a few actually.

So, that application resulted in a bite and I applied for two other jobs today.

Bodyshopping

There's a hierarchy of recruitment companies.

Some are very top flight. They style themselves "executive search and selection consultants". The female consultants are all terribly attractive in an "I live in Chelsea" way. Which I quite like (oh, and I used to live in Chelsea too).

Anyway then you get "recruitment consultants". If you're male and married, or in a committed relationship, you could probably use these instead of the executive S&S companies.

After that it's a bit of a mix, with them mainly categorised as "recruitment agencies". Another term can be "bodyshoppers".

Today I got a call from someone about a job. I told him I didn't have the skills required. I also reminded him that we'd actually spoken a week ago about another, more suitable role.

"Oh yeah".

Hallucinations

When I had my accident two years ago I spent a while going in and out of consciousness. At the beginning, for the first day or two I think, it was more a case of occassionally becoming conscious. The memories I have of that time are a bit out of sequence.

During the first day I hallucinated. I know that. Before and since, however, I haven't hallucinated. There's been no call to.

Yet last week I spoke with two agencies who said they'd send over job specs for me to review. When I phoned them today:

- one said they never had a job spec
- the other swore that he'd sent it.

As you now know, I don't do hallucinations. So it must be them. Maybe it's the same disorder which makes agents say they'll call you then never do.

[When women are upset because their boyfriends havn't called them, maybe they should just stop dating recruitment consultants.]

Nevertheless these two agents were good to talk to and both had sent my details to their clients.

Errors are egalitarian

OK, so recruiters sometimes make mistakes when they post job adverts. Big deal, I still have to apply.

This morning I wrote a covering email to a job and sent it off. Just before phoning the recruiter I called up the text of the email I'd sent him.

To my horror it included the phrase "... I very keen to work in the City again." I had missed out the "am".

Not pleasing. In reality, however, most recruiters don't read covering emails. I don't think this one had and he seemed to think my c.v. might be appropriate. He should know more later this week.

This is becoming a regular response. It seems that agencies start the recruiting process before they receive the full job specification.

My excuse for the above error is due to lack of sleep. There was a problem I had to deal with most of last night. Don't want to go into it but it means I'm a bit sleep deprived now.

Just a bit, mind, I've still done a full day's job hunting. I don't want to give any recruiters reading this (there must be so many) the impression that I'm a wuss who can't miss a night's sleep. Hell no, I'm an IT professional damn it. Just a sligthly tired IT pro at the moment.

Job adverts of the day

1. This one included: "You may be asked to obtain a copy of your criminal record as part of our referencing procedure."

Damn, I haven't got a criminal record, where can I get one? I knew living a virtuous life wouldn't pay off. If only I'd listen to my friends when I was a teenager.

2. An interesting requirement: "Good MS Project and MS Vision skills".

I'm pretty good at MS Project. Don't know anything about MS Vision, although I suspect it wouldn't work well with Linux systems or Firefox browsers.

JC's law of recruitment

You heard it here first:

"The larger the company, the pfaffier the recruitment process".

Over a week ago I was contacted, with enthusiasm, by an agency about a couple of roles with a very large company. Since then the agency has heard nothing.

For a very large company, who interviewed me in Prague, it took six months before I got a half-response from them.

The company in Duesseldorf is still dragging their feet. I actually applied for the job last year but re-submitted the application when the job was re-advertised a few months ago.

Anonymous ads

Simon Howard in The Sunday Times has written an article about anonymous job adverts.

He's quite correct, you do have to be careful about losing control to agencies who won't tell you to whom they're sending your c.v.

Even more importantly I think applicants should be careful about ID theft. One well-known UK agency is now saying, on every advert they post, that they'll need proof of identity before you go for an interiew.

Fair enough, UK law obliges employers to check that they're not hiring illegal immigrants. [Non-UK readers may be surprised/horrified/delighted to learn that mainstream political parties are now treating asylum seekers as scapegoats]. But proof of ID normally means something like your passport or driving license. Both of these have your signature as well. If they fall into the wrong hands you're PWNED.

I reckon some scamsters are now advertising on job sites hoping to steal identities from applicants.

Should anyone ask me for ID I'm going to do a lot of due diligence: make sure I'm happy the agency is genuine and that the person to whom I'm sending it still works there.

Another end of the week

Ages ago I applied for a job with a company whose US namesake had an interesting web site.

The recruitment agent working with them has been excellent and has kept me informed of progress, even when there hasn't been any (uh?).

This morning he called to advise that they'll give me a telephone interview on Wednesdsay.

Another week, another interview.

I also got a bite from an agency who I contacted this morning. They were interested in my relocation management experience and send they'd send details of a contract up North. So far, I've received nothing. I'll chase them on Monday.

Today I applied for one job.

This week I've made 11 applications and received four bites.

I've also written rather a lot of posts. The least you can do is read them all and tell your friends to do the same.

Techno-time

Firefox was so, like 48 hours ago.

Yesterday I install Skype.

They said it would be a straightforward installation and by jingo they were right.

It's a pity no-one else I know has Skype.

I'm thinking of putting it in my email signature, so people (like recruiters) can call me for free rather than on my mobile.

Is it a phobia?

No, it's just an irrational fear.

Today I saw a permanent job which fitted my skills and experiences quite well. Except it was for a local government body.

I could not bring myself to apply. I dwelt on it but I couldn't apply. If it was a contract role then yes, but full-time public-sector? Please, let's change the subject.

Is it 2 or 3?

This afternoon I went to an open-day held by a recruitment agency in the south-east of England.

It was good to show an agency I can wear a suit, polish my shoes and give a general air of professionalism. Remember IT does have a slightly short-sleeve shirt image. Which is fine until you get into the upper layers of management.

I went through my c.v. with a couple of the recruiters I met there. They both felt that two pages was insufficient.

You could have knocked me down with a feather, if it was a particularly large and heavy one.

I've worked very hard to keep my c.v. to two pages. It's been itching to go to three pages but I've held firm. Moreover I've advised friends and colleagues to keep their c.v. down to this level.

I think I'm correct. If you can condense over 10 years of achievements to two pages of 12pt text then you've passed the succinctness test. Congratulations, your new BMW is in the executive car park. Well it should be. I drive a Nissan.

Outplacement consultancies agree with me on this two page limit. Well, they're not the ones in the recruitment process so I should go along with whatever vogue is passing the recruitment consultancy world. And another agency recently asked me for a three page c.v.

[Nevertheless, if you ever apply for a job reporting to me you better keep your c.v. to two pages].

So instead of a boring weekend looking at MPGs of people riding their bicylces into walls etc I can re-extend my c.v.

In fact I'm now going to have two stand-by c.v.s, one at two pages and one at three pages. I'll canvass recruiters on how many pages they'd like.

I still think I'm right about two pages ...

Stoicism

What was I going to write about?

Oh yes.

I think most people who know me would agree that I'm reasonably calm about things. Certainly at work I haven't flapped too much. In fact, a criticism was made of me that I under-reacted to problems. This meant I wasn't running about like I had set my trousers on fire and was wondering who I could blame. This was the SOP for that place.

Today TWRAITW phoned about a job in Paris. I was really quite excited. This is despite having been lied to, misled, mistreated and made redundant by certain companies. And knowing friends who right now are being treated in the same way.

The proper response is tired cynicism. Sorry, but I still get a bit excited.

Another shock

Not only did TWRAITW call in response to my application but another agency called just to advise me that a job they had been keen for me to take had been permenantly put on hold.

This happens a lot. I've had so much of this. Jobs are created, I apply, the agency likes my c.v. so much they want some of my DNA, then the company puts the job on hold.

It's frustrating for me but it must be even more frustrating for the agencies. They do loads of work then don't get paid.

Flexibility

I am truly flexible.

And I can afford to be as I'm not tied down by family, mortgage or kids.

Sure I want to work in Paris. But there are loads of other great cities I'd be happy to work in.

One day, hopefully, I'll have a family, a crippling mortgage, scary school fees and a wife who only buys Chanel and La Perla. And, who knows, a mistress who loves caviar and a cat with a hernia.

In which case I may be limited in where I can work. Meantime I want to be as flexible as possible.

So, the glib observation by TWRAITW, below (that I'm not that keen to work in France as I've applied for jobs elsewhere), disappoints me.

You don't really get that problem in the USA. There people will happily move states to find work. I'm aware it may cause some social issues but, hey, I'm not a bearded sociologist.

I'd be really pleased if that American attitude was adopted throughout the European Union. It needs to be.

The form

The form the agency sent was quite straightforward. The agent had told me what to emphasize (my people management and multi-cultural experiences).

But getting this on to one page with their layout was a bit difficult.

Eventually I did what I tell others to do. I used bullet points. Everything became more succinct and fitted onto the one page.

Bullet points, don't leave home without them.

Ever so slightly

Avid readers (are there any other sort?) will know that yesterday I broke my pledge and applied for a job via The Worst Recruitment Agency in the World.

It was a job in Paris, and it was via the agency's Paris office but still there was no excuse.

This morning they phoned.

Although they did call at 9:20 am it was no good as it was 9:20 am their time. I don't turn on my phone until 9 am my time.

Eventually we got through to each other. The agent heard what I had to say and thought that, really, I wasn't that keen to work in France. She based this on the fact that I've been applying for jobs in a mix of European countries and quite a few in the UK (like over 100).

Here I was at a point that a lot of sales people would recognise. But I persisted. I explained that it's much easier for an English person to get a job in Britain and ultimately I need a job. I also explained that I'm keen to live and work in any decent European city. Not being tied down by mortgage, family or pets I can be quite flexible.

She eventually understoond. This was despite her not having fluent English (I don't have fluent French, far from it, but this job only requires English). She emailed a form for me to fill in and a few hours later asked if I could resend my c.v.

Quite a bite then. Not bad at all as I hadn't even got out of bed.

Actually, I am very keen to live and work in Paris. It would be near ideal: a foreign capital, but close to the UK (a train ride away), with a cheaper but often better standard of living. The reason I haven't applied for more jobs there is that most require fluent French.

One more thing ...

Just to show that I have an independent streak last night I installed Firefox on my PC.

If you don't know that it's an open source internet browser you do now.

It seems ok. It comes with an RSS reader and this blogsite is RSS compatable.

The long lunch

I avoid phoning recruiters between mid-day and 2pm.

In fact I try to avoid phoning them just before and just after these times as well.

The reason?

Lunch.

Sure, some people lunch at 12 (e.g. me) others at 1pm (sometimes me again). If I phone them and they're away from their desk then it's a wasted call. If they're at their desk they may either be munching away at something or thinking about munching something.

If someone calls me just as I'm about to go off for lunch I'll be too panicky to give them my full attention.

In fact, in some jobs I've put my lunch hour in the companies' networked calendar systems. This has saved me from having whole days booked out, from 9am onwards, in meetings with no time to eat.

Today I applied for five jobs.

Resist anything but temptation

Today I applied for a job requiring team leading and trans-national PM skills. Right up my avenue.

Moreover it was in Paris. Even better, the advert was written in English and didn't mention any requirement for French (although I can hold my own in the langauge, as long as it's menu-related).

Most adverts I've seen for roles in France not only require fluent French but are also written in French. In fact they often require you to be French. Holding this requirement is illegal under EU rules but I don't suppose that worries them.

I think I'm one of the few Englishmen, or even Frenchmen, who gets on fine with Parisiennes. Not sure why. Never had any problems there.

So I applied. Well why not?

The reason why not was that it was advertised by The Worst Recruitment Agency in the World.

Maybe, just maybe, the French part of their business is considerably better than the UK one. I really would like to work in Paris (or Lyon or Toulouse).

As you know when I was recruiting a few years ago they sent a candidate to me even though I had told them not to. But if that happened to me in Paris, so what? It's only a train ride away and it'd be an excuse to visit the city again.

Job of the day

"Requirements: - UK resident - Be at least 18 - Computer with Internet and e-mail access - Check your email several times a day (each Hour is wellcomed) - You need to respond immediately to emails - Scan of one of your ID"

No phone number was given but this isn't too unusual. However I couldn't find anything about the company using Google. And the email address the recruiter gave was a generic one, not related to any company.

With the current spate of identity thefts this is not something to which I'd apply. Especially as they want a scan of my ID, which I guess would be a passport or credit card.

Job of the day (yesterday)

In my postings for yesterday I forgot to mention an advertisement which started with:

"Super dooper IT Manager needed. "

Naturally I applied.

Today I called the agent who said that their preference for insurance experience was actually an essential requirement.

Hold the line

Today I saw another job to which I'd applied about a month ago.

The recruiter was in Amsterdam and I had tried to call him the first time I saw the advertisement.

Maybe if he made the effort to respond to calls and emails he wouldn't need to re-advertise.

As soon as I saw the advert today I phoned his office.

The receptionish who answered immediately said (before I could speak) "[name of company] please hold the line".

I put the phone down. I'm not having that. It doesn't matter that I'm phoning from abroad, it's plain rude.

A little later I phoned again. She put me through to his line but this time all I got was hold music.

I resent my original application and am going to leave it at that.

Not the only one

A couple of years ago I went for a panel interview for Membership of the British Computer Society. As a result of passing the interview I also received the status of Chartered Engineer.

At the time I was unemployed. One of the people interviewing me had also been made redundant. He would have been very experienced in the industry, quite senior and probably a Fellow. "You can't fight an economy" he advised me.

Two days after receiving the confirmation letters of my new status I was fighting for my life (apparently) in intensive care.

It's only in the last few weeks that I've started to use Google. Before that I've always used ixquick.com. Yesterday I wondered if anyone else had also written about their job hunting adventures in a blog site.

Funnily enough a few had. They were all American; one stood out. Looking at his site, for layout ideas, I discovered that he had started his own business and could speak Finnish. Damn. I'm attempting to start a business and am trying to learn the language. Also, being an ex-Navy officer his shoes are probably as shiny as mine.

Review

So far this week I've applied for five jobs.

That's my weekly target met. I'll probably exceed it in the next couple of days but I accept that face-to-face interviews reduce the number of applications I can make.

Out of these five applications I've had two bites, well above my average.

And looking at past weeks it seems that I'm getting quite a few bites. More than the one bite per 10 applications which I hope for.

I'm not doing this analysis out of boredom or to impress the female readership of this blog. The same goes for the graph I produced last week.

By doing this analysis it tells me I'm doing the right thing. It also reassures me that my skills and experiences are still valid. If I didn't do this I could end up feeling dejected when recruiters tell me I don't have "recent experience" for such-and-such a role.

Surveillance

Every working day I spend many hours at the computer trawling two job sites. I see maybe 1500 to over 2000 jobs adverts a day. Although, for most of them, it's only the summary job information.

Since July I've made at least 10 application every week as a result of this trawling.

Although I seem to have a haphazard memory I do recognise jobs that have been advertised before. And names of recruiters.

I also record every application in an MS Access database I knocked up.

Today I saw a job for which I applied at the end of September. That's about 35 job applications ago.

At the time the recruiting agent was happy to put forward my c.v. even though I lacked some technical skills required by the client. It turned out, however, that none of his candidates were called for interviews.

So when he posted the same advertisement today I called him. The client wanted to see more people, he said, and I was on his provisional list anyway. So, he's going to forward my c.v. again to the client.

Nice work

If you can get it.

The recruiter I met on Monday finally updated the agency. Who updated me, after some prompting.

Once again I had interviewed well. Apparently they would have given me the job but one of the other candidates had worked there before.

Fair enough. If I was recruiting I would go for someone who had this familiarity. Especially in a public sector organisation (like this one). For a start it, reduces the risk of them going postal. (If you don't know what "going postal" means see me after the class).

Anyway, it was good feedback from the agency.

Almost two weeks ago I had a telephone interview by a large retail bank. And I had the same response. They had given the job (a freelance assignment) to someone who had worked there before.

However ...

I received a phone call today from another agency who was recruiting for a very similar role with the same client. It sounded like the same job but the reference number and duration of contract was different. Large organisations tend to put out a multitude of similar roles at the same time.

It's very important not to apply for the same job with a different agency. The first agency could claim introduction rights which means they would have to be paid even though I was ultimately sourced from another agency.

I'm pretty certain this is another job and asked the agency to proceed with the application but bearing the similarity in mind.

Note to self

"Try to resist the temptation to call the Second Worst Recruitment Agency in the World."

They had re-advertised a role so I called the agency to see if they could have another look at my c.v.

The person to whom I spoke was basically a dim-wit who should be taken outside and shot. Slowly.

For goodness sake this is one of the leading recruiters in the City. How on earth?

Being an ueber-diligent bunny I use any excuse I can to phone agencies. Another agency had also re-advertised a role so I phoned them today as well. They took time to talk with me, looked at my c.v. and were happy to send it across to their client. It's a potential win-win: I might get a job in which case I solve the agency's requirement to find someone.

Competition

There seems to a challenge for the title of my Favourite Agency.

Mid-September I applied for a particular job. The recruiter has consistently called me to update me on progress. Well, rather he's updated me on their lack-of-progress.

Yesterday he left me a voice message. This explained that his client's recruiting manager had been off-sick. Quite possibly by looking at their American namesake's web site (which is dedicated to the most ridiculous pornography).

The manager is back, I spoke with the recruitment agent today (he phoned me!) and hopefully I'll get an interview.

Compare and contract with ...

A week or so ago I had a telephone interview arranged by my current Favourite Agency. I've heard nothing and have phoned them a couple of times.

Today I phoned them again: "Hello John, we were going to call you ...". Yeah, right.

The feedback was that I had interviewed well. But the client had decided to give the assignment to someone who had worked there before.

It's meeting not interview

When I arrive at an organisation's reception I say I've turned up for a meeting with so-and-so. I never say "interview".

I believe it puts you at a psychological disadvantage if you say you're there for "an interview". As far as I'm concerned it's a meeting of equals. I have certain skills and knowledge they may require. They have, er, some money they can give me.

Actually it seldom is a meeting of equals. I tend to be better dressed, have a better haircut and speak better than most people interviewing me. Also, in the past, when I've conducted interviews, I conducted them better than people who have interviewed me. Moreover my shoes are invariably shinier than the person's on the other side of the desk.

Today

Interviews are always disruptive. Yesterday's meeting meant that I had a lot of catching up, in terms of job trawling, today.

Today I applied for one job. I also received one bite. Funnily enough, from that application.

The recruiter didn't say she'd put my c.v. to her client. In fact she said the client didn't want to see anymore c.v.s until they'd waded through the ones already sent across. But she did think my details matched her requirements.

The reason this is a bite and not a nibble is because I say so.

In the afternoon I tried to phone everyone I've contacted in recent days.

I even called the agency handling the job in Duesseldorf to which I applied at the end of July. It's still live. And it'll probably still be live until a High Court decides that keeping it alive is unnecessarily cruel.

Disruption

Yesterday I attended an interview in London for a contract assignment.

As always I arrived early, in this case an hour early. I hovered outside the street until it was time. I think I was the only person wearing a suit in that part of London yesterday. I'm surprised it didn't make the news.

I used to arrive even earlier for interviews. In more recent years, however, the transport infrastructure in the UK is so bad that this is not necessary. Delays are so frequent that people are quite understanding if you turn up late. It's good to give a reasonable amount of contingency time but anything over an hour is probably excessive.

Ten minutes before the start-time of this interview I presented myself at their reception. Fifteen minutes later they told me to go up to their first floor.

The interview went well. There was good rapport, I felt, and I could answer their questions quite comfortably. Certainly I got across that I could do the job.

The interview did, however, go rather quick, 30 minutes in all. But I think that was all they intended to allow anyway.

Minutes after the interview I phoned the recruitment consultant who had arranged it. He said he'd get back to me by today. He didn't.

He also asked if I was willing to negotiate on the daily rate I'd given. No way. It's significantly less than the last role. Moreover this role is in one of the most expensive cities in the world. The rate we had agreed (the agency and I) would allow me to make some money, once hotel costs had been taken into account, but not much.

If I'm offered the job, on the rate originally agreed (or more) then I'll take it. But I'll be quite happy, even relieved, if I'm not offered the job.

Everyday is like Sunday

Especially when it is Sunday. And especially if you live in a seaside town ...

If you don't know the lyrics go away, learn them, then come back.

I actually do live in a seaside town at the moment. And it is Sunday.

Today I applied for zero jobs.

I did nearly apply for one job, but just before I sent the application I realised I was writing to the Worst Recruitment Agency in the World. Being the weekend I wasn't that switched on to the whole application process. So I didn't fully notice who was advertising the job until the last moment. Phew. That was close.

Hang on. Why were you searching today?

Well spotted. I never look at the weekends. Damnit, even people who don't have a job need a break.

But I have an interview tomorrow up in London. So I thought I better search today for anyone who has posted a job advertisement over the weekend or during Friday afternoon.

Preparation

I'm being interviewed tomorrow by a rather large public sector organisation for a freelance project management assignment.

It won't pay very well but at least it's a job and it's up in London so it'll be socially better.

The good thing is that I can't really do any preparation for it. I usually trawl business sites or even go to a business library to find out about companies. In this case it just "is". And it's one of those public sector organisations which always will be just "is".

I will, however, polish my shoes to a degree considered unsafe during sunny days.

Job of the day

In recent weeks I haven't done any German study but I do like to read job adverts written in the language.

I saw one today which included: "Last but not least sind Sie das kreative Organisationstalent, das sich sicher auf dem gesamten Terrain des Veranstaltungsmangements zu bewegen versteht."

I like the "last but not least" bit. They actually used the same phrase in a paragraph before this one.

I'm pretty certain it's not a German colloquolism. Nowadays a lot of German, including quite formal text, use words like "sorry", "manager","business" etc. And I've found Germans like to swear in English. Who can blame them? We probably have the best swear words in the world. All those four-letter words ending in hard plosives (I think they're called plosives: "-uck", "-at", "-unt", "-iss" etc).

I know a few German swear words but they're useless. They should spend less time creating great cars, beer, er, etc and more time swearing.

How did I get on?

On Friday I set myself some tasks for the weekend:

1. learn some XP
2. do some business development
3. maybe add some more to this blog site, possibly including Google's Adsense
4. get my own domain name and tart up my web site.

Here's the results:

1. I spent an hour looking at my flash cards for XP. I might take them with me tomorrow and use them on the train. I also have some flash cards on my PDA.
2. Now have a pretty good finanical model of our business based around its cash flow. I'll have to look at adding more posts to the blog for that project.
3. Well, as you can see, I've added some text. I've also applied for Adsense.
4. I now have my own domain name. It's easier to give out over the phone than my old one (a sub-domain off my ISP). This is becomming quite important. When I phone agencies quite a few say they haven't received my email. I'm pretty certain it's them being dafty trousers. So, I give them my web address and they can see a version of my c.v. from there. I haven't, however, tarted up my web site so I'm not posting the URL here just yet.

I also went to the gym and got my email-from-Palm working again. This is surprisingly useful when you're travelling. Last time I went for an interview I was emailed from agencies but couldn't reply. So I'm glad to have fixed it before going up to London tomorrow.

Haircut

By one o'clock this afternoon I had applied for five jobs.

That brings the total number of applications for this week to 20.

To save you all the trouble of scrolling down a bit and looking at my graph, this number is a record for the current period of job hunting.

And I received one bite bringing the total number of bites for this week to six.

I also received a nibble from an agency who said I was too senior for the role they were advertising. But she - a Polish woman now working in London - liked my c.v. and is going to consider me for other roles. Definitely a nibble rather than a bite and as you know, I don't count nibbles (but if I did it would be two for this week).

Quite a week then.

And to cap it all I had a haircut this afternoon.

Then I went to the opticians and tried to put contact lenses in my eyes again. I did much better than last time but I'm going to go along for one more training session so I'm absolutely confident.

This time my eyes don't look like someone has poured acid into them.

Just as well

I had booked my haircut a few days ago. Which was fortunate as on Monday I have an interview. This was arranged by an agency who responded positively to my application yesterday. They called today. The job in question is not the best paying job going at the moment. But I should break even, it's only for six months, and it's better than sitting here searching for jobs all day.

Why?

I'm very positive about jobs and job hunting. Often I visualise about what I could do in a certain role for which I'm being interviewed. It's not pathological enthusiasm. It helps me focus and think about what I could do in the roles. I believe it's healthy.

Today, however, I was contacted by two friends for whom work is not going well. They're senior managers and have done well. But office politics gets in the way. It's not even politics sometimes, it's just office crap.

And that's the reality of work. I mustn't dwell on this or my application rate will drop alarmingly.

At last

Whereas working people often look forward to weekends I don't usually. It's just less of the same for me. I don't meet up with people and have to be reasonably careful about retail therapy. Worse, apart from half-hearted attempts at studying and business development, it's the two days I can't do anything to rectify the situation.

I also quietly resent the fact that my non-working life still has to mirror working life. I can only really job hunt during the working week: that's when most jobs are posted and recruiters are contactable.

This weekend is different. I've had a busy week and I'll think I'll have some positive things to do:

- learn some XP, too busy to study this week so it'll be good to get back to it
- do some business development, this is a must
- maybe add some more to this blog site, possibly including Google's Adsense - well, why not?
- get my own domain name and tart up my web site.

I've kinda given up on German and Finnish for the time but you never know.

Let's see how I get on.

Nibble

As well as bites I suppose you could have a classification called "nibble".

Like today, I phoned an agency about a job I saw advertised. He said he was wading through all the applications but will put mine to the side and have a look later. So, that's a positive response but not as good as a bite. But I'm not going to track nibbles.

Today I applied for two jobs. I finally got through to an agency I had emailed yesterday and they said they'd forward my c.v. to their client. Now that's a solid, through the muscle and ligaments, bite.


Job of the Day (1)

I saw an agency advertise on a web site for a role with the British Computer Society.

I'll repeat that: I saw an agency advertise on a web site for a role with the British Computer Society.

For those that don't know, the BCS is the primary professional organisation for people working in IT. In recent years its membership has been rapidly growing. They hold many seminars, which includes networking opportunities, and also publish magazines and email briefings.

So why do they need a City agency to help them recruit by advertising on the web?

OK, looking at other blog sites most of them, practically all of them, concern themselves with other things. Like John Kerry can't be president because he shares a Christian name with his running mate. Or George Bush might have been ever so slightly naughty regarding the invasion of Iraq.

But this blog has a different agenda and won't be swayed by the odd invasion, election or pictures of naked actresses.

Job of the Day (2)

I'm not going to highlight all the job adverts I've seen with outrageously poor grammar and spelling. And I'm certainly not going to highlight adverts posted by Europeans in English.

Except this one:
"LANGUAGE SKILLS: DUTCH and ENGLISH; if you do not speak Dutch, please do not hesitate to send your cv!"

It's a little bit ambiguous. And as the Dutch are the best speakers of English (better than most English people) I'm surprised by the ambiguity.

I didn't apply because they had other skills which I couldn't offer (though then again, maybe they wanted me to apply if I didn't have the skills they listed).

Europe

I mentioned Europeans in the above section so I better clear-up a common misconception.

No-one can doubt my European credentials. I've worked and lived in Germany, speak the language (a bit), am trying to learn Finnish, and have spent nearly all my holidays looking at European women.

I was once on the phone to a colleague who was Australian but living in London. I said something about the company's European offices. There was a pause, yet despite the silence I could hear the panic. Eventually he said "I thought we were in Europe".

My contention, which of course is correct, is that the UK is not geographically part of Europe, or the Continent as we used to call it. Neither are we Europeans. The UK is, of course, part of the European Union and also part of the "European project". But culturally I've observed that we're quite distinct from Europeans. Which is no surprise when you consider our weather.

So, when I write about Europe and Europeans, I mean that mass of foreigners over the Channel with their croissants, fine wines, sausages and furniture. I'm not including the British with their umbrellas and milky tea.

Glad that's clear.

Another day not at work

I hope you're all fast readers as I haven't got long before I start looking at cash-flows again.

Job hunting isn't just a case of sitting on a chair and searching through job web sites all day. Except today it was.

I also phoned some of the agencies to whom I've applied in the last few days. Still seated of course. Most responded "well, you don't have recent exeperience/departmental financial experience".

I'm getting fed up hearing that my transferable skills, acquired a few years ago, are no longer valid.

Contender

For a while today I thought another agency was keen to enter the "worst agency" category.

I spoke with them yesterday and they said they'd send two job details over.

I received nothing so I phoned them. They said they'd send it over.

By this morning I was beginning to suspect something was wrong with my email system, not least as I hadn't received any spam overnight. So I sent myself an email from my Yahoo account. Worked fine.

Nor could I get through to the agency for most of the day today.

This didn't bode too well. In my job hunting experiences I've had lots of agencies, and companies, promise interviews and responses but never completing. Some of the companies have been very large indeed.

Eventually I got through and the agent sent the details over. Well, the second job details he sent over were for a completely different, and completely unsuitable, role. But he quickly sent over the correct description with good humour.

And then ...

... it got busy. No time for a gym workout.

In total I applied for six jobs today. And received one bite.

Graph

Below should be a chart. It should show the number of applications I've made each week in August and September. I got Hello working last night, eventually.

It looks a simple graph but producing it wasn't.

I know no-one is interested but I'm going to go through the process now:

- copy Access database table into Excel, I only copied the rows for the months I was analysing.
- remove extraneous columns, in this case this just leaves me with one column. In each row of the column is the date I've made the application. Obviously there will be quite a lot of rows with the same date entered as I often make more than one application per day.
- create a lookup table showing week number and its start date.
- create a vertical lookup function and copy into the columns of a new row. (Normally I start with a horizontal lookup function before realising it should be a vertical function.) This way, next to each application date is the week number of that application.
- create a Pivot table from this table. I think I was 30 before I understood Pivot tables and apparently this makes me quite advanced.
- accidentally delete the whole spreadsheet then repeat the above steps this time saving the spreadsheet as you go along.
- the Pivot table shows the number of applications made per week. Create a chart from this.
- copy this chart into Visio and save as a JPEG.
- play around with Hello until it posts the chart to your blog.
- sit back and wait for immediate offers of high paid work from people desperately needing someone with your Access and Excel skills.
- go to bed.

Applications/week 

Light

Today I applied for two jobs. And both were based in Belgium (yes, I know) and were relatively long shots.

For overseas jobs I change my line for degree qualification from "BSc Honours ..." to "BSc (with Honours)...". Otherwise some foreign recruiters might think the university only gave me the degree because I was a good egg.

Neither of those recruiters have called.

But

I did however have three bites.

I saw a job readvertised from over a week ago. As usual I had sent my c.v. straight away then phoned (the agency was in London). Never got through.

When I saw it today I phoned immediately and spoke with the recruiter. He was concerned about my career gap but I talked him through it. In the end he said he'd send the c.v. to his clients.

Two other recruiters phoned and each discussed two roles.

One recruiter phoned about a refurbishment project in London. I'd forgotten all about the application (made yesterday) and he sounded surprised that I was surprised. Like I only apply to one job ever.

There was no IT involved in this project at all. Moreover you really need experience in the construction industry or things could go terribly wrong (breach of health and safety etc). The agent was a bit surprised when I told him this and suggested he look for property PMs.

I did however offer to forward the job details to a former colleague who has more appropriate experience.

He also mentioned a freelance helpdesk manager role in London. This is more up my street and I asked him to put my name forward. The pay isn't very good but it is a rolling contract and it pays more than I'm earning now.

Better was to follow in the afternoon. Last week I applied for a role with an agency who didn't publish their telephone number.

I more or less forgot about them but they called today. They discussed two roles with a major company; one in the South West of England and one in London. They're sending over the details and I think I'd be suitable for both assignments.

You may not recognise my accent ...

... it's called Educated.

My surname doesn't sound very English. And the reason for this is that it originates from the Indian sub-continent. Of course, now it is English but that's mainly due to me. Well, actually it's because I refuse to consider myself as anything other than English and most people who know me agree. I've even been asked if my Christian name is actually an Anglicized version of some other name. It isn't. My real first name is John.

Without the expense of public (i.e. private) school education I've ended up rather well spoken. I don't drawl, like a lot of public school people, but neither is my accent as crisp as a Sandhurst graduate (British Army's officer academy, a bit like West Point but grander). Too soft. A lot of people think I did go to public school but I advise them that I didn't need to.

An Englishman only has to open his mouth for another Englishman to immediately hate him.

This accent can be advantageous. For example, when I phone an agency it can totally change the impression of my application. There's no hint of foreigness and it reinforces the professional image of my c.v.

Like, today, when I phoned the agency handling the Amsterdam job his impression of me changed and he was happy to put my c.v. forward.

The accent can also be disadvantageous. Nowadays in Britain it's considered bad form to discriminate on race, religion, gender, disability, sexuality or weight. But, for some reason, a lot of people discriminate on education and accent.

If you're well spoken you're quite likely to be mocked. I've seen this happen on popular TV programmes. I'm sure I've been discriminated against because of my accent.

Still, it's the only accent I have (I even use it when I'm speaking German or French) and I'm keeping it.

No idea

Before posting this blog I thought I'd upload a graph of my applications over the last two months. This would show just how clever I am.

I was using Picassa's Hello, as recommended by Blogger, but I'm not really sure what has happened. I may investigate tomorrow.

This and that

Today it's been a bit grey and damp. But enough about my underpants.

Start of the week

Today I applied for five jobs. And I got a bite from one.

Also, an agency phoned me about a PM role. That's nice.

Yet despite already hitting my weekly target I don't feel it's been a good start to the week.

The PM role was totally unsuitable. My skills are elsewhere. After reading the job spec I phoned the agency back and told him so. At least they know I'm upfront about these things. (And they already have my name for a more suitable role with the same client).

The bite I got was in response to an advert I'd seen for a contract helpdesk/support manager type job. After sending my c.v. I phoned the agency. He was all rather matter of fact about this and said he'd forward my c.v. to the client. Just like that.

Of the four other jobs to which I applied today:

- one agency rejected me, by email, within an hour of me applying(I had applied to the same job fronted by other agencies who had rejected me for lack of recent experience)
- one agency rejected me when I phoned them, for the same reason - lack of recent experience.

I also received an email from a recruiter who had, about a week ago, put my name forward to his client despite me not having all the essential skills.

Apparently all the people he had put forward had been rejected. I'm not too surprised. The client was recruiting for a similar (or the same) role a couple of years ago. And that recruitment campaign soon died off.

Bad, bad agency

Just over a week ago I had a spate of agencies calling me about the same role. The first agency which called I permitted to put forward my c.v. The rest were too late and I told them that.

I phoned one of these agencies today to see if they had any other role. I reminded them of their initial approach last week. They then told me that they had put my name forward to their client anyway. That is, having been told I was being considered by another agency and therefore without my permission.

That is so unprofessional and unethical.

I didn't go into meltdown mode but if this ever happens again ...

Suck

I spent most of the weekend looking at venture capital firms in the Nordics and trying to work out how to create a reasonable cash-flow sheet. (There are loads of guides on how to create a cash-flow sheet which doesn't take into account VAT, but few which cover this rather important item).

I also read The Sunday Times on-line.

In their popular technology section (Doors) they had an article about sites which find out information for you.

They mentioned www.hoovers.com

Of course, I've forgotten about about this site. I gave it a whirl and it returned some basic financial information about a sample company. Which is more than on the company's own web site. In future I'll use Hoovers to find out key stuff about companies.

Jobs you don't want

Also in The Times, Saturday's edition, was an article about the worst jobs you could do (culled from The Idler magazine and probably not a proper survey). Third worst was IT Manager. Damn, that's the job I've been trying to do again.

Corrections

I asked my retained language expert, Frank, to review a version of my c.v. He's a Spanish to English translator, specialising in the academic business area.

(Or is that "academic-business area"?)

He only posed a few corrections and these were mainly based around the lack of hyphens. I've been putting things like "first line support", or "US based company" when, of course, it's "first-line support" and "US-based company". Oh, and one sentence definitely needed a comma.

The rest was fine. Which is a relief. As it was, it was a very pristine document. Very few English people would have noticed the mistakes that Frank picked up. But now, it's even more pristine.

Networking not working

I'm a strong believer in networking. I have my own business cards, my own web site and I attend appropriate IT seminars whenever I can. I've also visited exhibitions just to talk to people. I talk to agencies even when they haven't got anything suitable for me

Furthermore I've recruited people from this network and have even been recruited myself.

Having been on outplacement courses I know about building your network ("could you name other people to whom I could talk?").

Except.

It's not working at the moment.

I think there's several reasons for this:

- I live in England
- I don't currently live in a metropolitan area
- my industry is particularly poor at networking (some parts to the point of autism)
- the current downtown in this industry (from which it's now recovering) has hit it so hard that it's very difficult to network

Just over a year ago I was more into networking. The result? Two people I talked to were themselves made redundant shortly afterwards! I hope there wasn't a connection.

I received several leads from people but they all came to nothing. Not even a bite or interview.

I have a gut feeling that my efforts are better expended on responding to adverts than trying to network into companies. Also, I have the feeling that it'll be easier to network once I'm in employment again, as long as it's in a city.

My advice to anyone would still be to look at networking but not just because you're job hunting. It should be a near-daily activity.

Important

Readers will be surprised that I don't have a wife, girlfriend or girlfriends. Okay, I've been long-term unemployed and a bit disfigured recently. But the disfigurement has now disappeared (even doctors can't see it). And I did a short-term project management assignment recently.

Moreover I'm setting up a business in the Nordics, have one of the grammatically-better c.v.s and a kick-ass blogsite (you're reading it).

Nevertheless, it's true.

What do women do when they can't get a bloke? Apparently they eat chocolate, meet up with their girlfriends, maybe get a cat.

What do blokes do when they can't get a girl? One-word answer here: gadgets.

Of course they'll get the gadgets anyway. And they'll do other things which a family-orientated blog like this (which has only mentioned the word "cunt" once) wouldn't go into.

Again, from The Sunday Times, I saw the gadget of my dreams. It's a digital pen which doesn't need fancy paper. It writes in ink on normal paper but also stores the scribing in a nearby memory device. The stored images can be uploaded to your computer or PDA.

If this is as good as it says then it'll improve my life no-end.

Er, what has this got to do with job hunting?

Well, it means I can use it in my next job and it'll be just great. I won't have to worry about carrying around loads of notebooks or fear losing them. With one of these who needs a girlfriend?

Summary

Today

Today I applied for two jobs. One of them called back pretty damn fast.

Their call stopped me from applying to an other agency handling the same job (this is quite common, companies use several agencies who all advertise on the same web sites).

I was actually going to make my c.v. more compelling for this second agency and had just finished tailoring it when the first agency called.

Week

This week I made 17 applications. I received five bites which, I think, is an all-time record.

I also had one interview. Yes, it was a telephone interview but it still counts.

Month

Half-way through the morning I realsised it was the 1st October.

So, last month I made 64 applications. I had 17 bites. This means that on average I get a positive response for every four applications.

Of those 17 bites I had two interviews.

The statistics are abysmal but also, relatively and taking into account IT job trends over the last few years, very good.

Luck

People who don't appreciate my skills in Karate often say that I'm lucky.

To my face.

Within striking distance.

They're lucky I'm so mild-mannered.

Their argument is that I'm lucky to have survived, and recovered so well, from my accident two years ago.

Apparently I'm also lucky because I had enough savings so that my period of long-term unemployment was financially quite comfortable (although I'm by no means rich).

Maybe I'm fortunate but I don't feel lucky. I've met people who've been luckier than me. They don't see the insides of an intensive treatment unit. Nor, do they see the insides of an outplacement consultancy.

Sure there are people who have much worst luck than me. I've met them and wouldn't want to swap places.

But I haven't been lucky in the positive meaning of the word. Not in recent years anyway.

And I have been careful. Worked hard, not smoked, exercised diligently, not got dressed, er, inappropriately then got shot and have to be taken to the ER like this footballer.

I've been to Kansas City airport. Blimey. I could have been shot; I guess maybe I am lucky after all.

Monster

I would have called the site Jobzilla myself but then again I'm just too corporate.

Everyday I look at this site. But I hardly ever apply. Either the job has already been advertised in the JobServe. Or it's advertised by the Worst IT Recruitment Agency in the World. Or it's advertised in a foreign language (and if that language is German, which I can read, then they make explicit their requirement for fluent German). And they tend to have a lot of IT jobs specialising in areas I don't cover.

But today I saw a job which wasn't covered by the above restrictions so I applied.

Point of inflection

Looking at www.jobstats.co.uk there's an unpleasant looking point of inflection in the IT jobs market just now.

My own records (based on a limited search around my skills) suggests there's near week-on-week growth. But I'll have to chart this to get a better picture.