Kick off

Breakfast

As you no doubt all know, breakfast is one of the three most important meals of the day.

But before I could eat mine I was called by a recruitment agency.

On Friday afternoon I had applied to what appeared to be the same job advertised by three different agencies. So I was rather pleased to be called quite promptly, actually a bit too promptly, by an agency this morning.

Now according to my jobs database I hadn't applied to the agency about this job. Still they somehow had my c.v. in relation to it. We discussed the role and he said he'd talk to his account manager about it.

I then returned to my breakfast but before I could finish it the phone range again. A different agency about a different job for which I'm already being considered (by my favourite recruitment agency).

Then finished off my breakfast. I think I've written before about agencies calling me at this time but clearly to no avail.

Later on in the day another agency called about a job, the same one now being handled by the agency who called first thing this morning. I've been so used to hearing "I'm sorry, someone got the interview/job etc" that it was great to say "I'm sorry, some other agency got me first". Twice in one day. Actually, twice ever I think.

Job of the day (1)

"Our partner company, a large GSM Operator in Northern Iraq, is currently looking for a number of marketing professionals to work within Sulaymaniah in their marketing team. The positions available are: Marketing Development Senior Manager Products and Services Senior Manager VAS Manager Pricing and Interconnect Manager Experience with a GSM Operator is highly beneficial."

The position was marked as being "Permanent".

In this advert they didn't mention key things like: secure compound, close protection, kidnap insurance, free body bag.

Job of the day (2)

This one asked for a "native German", in English.

Now I hate discrimination. I hate discrimination even more than I hate the French.

If you have fluent German and understand the culture then that should be sufficient. That advert, for a recruitment company funnily enough, probably breaks EU law. It's certainly daft considering Germany is becoming a rather multi-cultural society (at least in the west).

How things change

Just a few years ago I was working in Germany with multi-national responsibility. I've also worked closely (fingers again) with people in the USA.

Now I'm reduced to applying for jobs in Poole or Staines.

If you're American, that's like applying for a job in Kansas City after having worked in New York City or San Francisco. If you're German that's like applying for a job in Essen. If you're Finnish that's like going for a job in Oulu. If you're Belgian that's like applying for a job in Belgium.

Realisation

I read one job advert which was looking for a PM who would mainly work on their own. Now I have lots of project experience coupled with key qualifications in PM. But I've realised my main strength is leading people, ideally in teams. I didn't apply.

Otherwise

I've got a feeling this will be a busy week. That's assuming that my broadband connection doesn't break like it did for a while this morning. We'll see how busy I get at the end of the week.

Today I applied for four jobs and received three bites.

Little prick

Two things I don't like

End of the week and the first thing I do this morning is get up.

Then I go to the local surgery for a blood test. Since my accident I've had to have blood tests on a regular basis, about monthly.

Ow. Despite frequent application of needles to my arms over the last two years I still don't like it.

When I get home I then use the expensive machine I bought to also test my blood. I'm running this in parallel with the surgery's testing for a few months. Once I'm use to self-testing then I'll take the machine with me if I get a job abroad.

Ow. The machine comes with a pen-like lance. It's spring loaded and stabs your finger to get a drop of blood. Just a little prick but it hurts an awful lot.

So that's two self-inflicted unpleasant things in one week: poking myself in the eye (to place and remove contact lenses) and stabbing myself to get blood.


Desirable advantage

An advert I saw today included the phrase "health experience an advantage".

Well, I've been in good health, I've also experienced at first hand NHS hospitals (although for some of this I was unconscious) and I've watched a lot of ER.

Somehow I don't think this is sufficient. So I don't apply.

A fews days ago I applied to an agency for a job whose advert included the sentence: "Financial services and specifically investment banking industry experience would be highly beneficial".

Well, actually I have three years' experience within a major investment bank. I phone the agency who tell me that the client has now mandated recent financial experience as a requirement.

Favourite agency

There's an agency near to Manchester which is my favourite agency. And the reason for this status is that they found me a contract job last year which ended in June this year.

I saw them advertising a suitable contract job so I phoned them up. We had a good chat and I emailed a slightly updated c.v. which they said they'd send over to the client.

Job of the day

There's too much to paste in here, so this is the link to one of its entries on the job Monster.

Apart from being from Nigeria there's much else to suggest it's a 401 scam. The extra-bad English and the non-corporate email and web addresses. The client company seems real but they may not be aware that their name is being used.

Of course it may all turn out to be genuine.

Shiny shoes

Today I saw a job advertised by the recruitment consultants who arranged an interview for me a fortnight ago (I've been awaiting feedback but the interviewing manager has been ill).

It was for a different client and handled by a different agent within the consultancy. It paid considerably more than the job for which I had had the interiew.

I was keen to talk to the original agent first, advise him that I was going for another job handled by them but that I was still interested in the company who interviewed me. Unfortunately I couldn't get through to him but was able to leave my contact details.

Just after lunch I contacted the agent handling this new job. He said he'd get back to me. A few minutes later the original agent phoned me.

Before I could explain that I had been trying to contact him as a courtesy he gave me feedback on my interview, which he'd received yesterday.

Apparently I'd interviewed very well. The client was impressed and had no doubt I could do the job. They also appreciated that I had done my homework and had asked them questions no-one else had asked (like what were they doing about their annual losses).

Just what I wanted to hear.

Going on ... they felt, however, that I was too "corporate" for them. Them being a multi-national company with a turnover in excess of £100m which has been going for 40 years.

They felt maybe I would be better suited to a consultancy. I laughed and asked if I could use them as a referee.

The agent telling me this was incredulous and I was a bit. But it's their decision and it was very good feedback. Apparently I hadn't done or said anything wrong in the interview.

It should be noted that the two people interviewing me were casually dressed. The more senior one was wearing a T-shirt with a logo on it. I, however, was wearing a tailor made suit, a Liberty's silk tie and, of course, incredibly shiny shoes.

I hadn't checked their shoes, so for all I know they were wearing sandalls.

In fact, when getting dressed that morning, I made the decision to wear a shirt with button cuffs, rather than use the gold cufflinks that I usually wear with that suit (it's a wide pinstrip suit which only uses braces [supsenders if you're American] rather than a belt). So, I had made the effort to be less "corporate" for them.

After the agent had finished I then told him the reason I had tried to get in touch with him today. He was fine about it. He said that he had no hesitation in considering me for other suitable roles and, moreover, he was going to have a chat with his colleague who was handling this other job.

About 10 minutes later his colleague phoned back , we had a quick chat and he said he'd send my c.v. to the client.

Snapped

Over two years ago, when I was made redundant from the energy company, the marketing manager said she thought I'd be snapped up.

Today, when I talked to an agency about a relocation project, the agent said the same thing. Being so flexible (permanent, contract, UK, abroad, whatever) she was surprised I hadn't already been snapped up.

And to be honest, I've been rather surprised too, for a very long time.

Well, as she was doubtful she was going to put forward my c.v. to her client, maybe she shouldn't have been too surprised.

Rest of the day

As you know I never look for jobs on Friday afternoon. Well I did today. It was that or study XP and I wasn't in the mood for studying.

In total I applied for seven jobs. Three may have been for the same job handled by different agencies but I thought I'd apply anyway. I may find out next week.

The total applications this week has been: 17. And I received three bites.

Big one

Today I applied for one job. That's ok because this week I've applied for 9 jobs and I've one (half) day to go.

JobServe is working fine now so that's an improvement.

I phoned a few recruiters I contacted yesterday and today. One just didn't pick up her god damn phone.

The other did pick up his phone and said he'd call back in 10 minutes, and then today, in half an hour. He didn't. I'll try again tomorrow.

In the afternoon I had to go out. One recruitment agent decided to call whilst I was on the windy streets. He went through a contract PM role in the south west of England. He said he'd get back to me.

Including that one this week I've had two bites.

Big 100

I thought I'd make a special mention when I reached 100 applications since my last role (or rather since I returned from Helsinki and started looking properly). But then I forgot.

So far I've applied for 114 jobs.

I reached 100 applications on 15th September. During that time I had 15 bites and one interview. Which is sadly par for the course these days.

Gym

I managed to go the gym today. I may have strained a muscle, or two, or all of them. Bit tired now.

Hard day

A lot of people think it's kinda cool to not have a job. Get up late, go to the gym, have a relaxed lunch, browse the internet for jobs for a little while, have a cappuccino, maybe a chocolate chip muffin ....

If only.

Today I was due to go the gym but had no time.

I can't remember when I last had a chocolote chip muffin although I'm pretty sure that the chips would have been Belgian chocolate.

Coffee now gives me migraines so that assumption was wrong as well.

But I did get up late and my lunch was leisurely.

Most of the day, however, was spent job hunting and phoning agencies. Today I applied for four jobs.

Correction

Yesterday I reported that the properties section of my c.v. (which displays when you put the cursor over a Windows folder) showed a creation date back in the last millenium. That's been corrected.

After that correction I carried on with my evolutionary approach to sending c.v.s. Each job gets a tailored c.v. based on the one I sent before it. I have a "career d.n.a." document full of key phrases used to describe my skills. I pick the appropriate ones and paste them into the first page of my c.v. It works. People do like my c.v. even if they don't want to interview me.

Whilst creating the c.v. for the second or third job application today I suddenly noticed an error. I had used "and" instead of "have". This could only mean that I had sent out this error in my last application.

Oh, coitus.

I don't know how it had crept in. Looking at the same sets of text day-in day-out leads to this. I even sometimes read out my c.v. and covering letters aloud to see if that can trap errors. Sometimes it does but not always.

Worked closely

I tend to use the phrase "worked closely" quite a lot in my c.v.s unless I trap them: "worked closely with internal and external stakeholders", " worked closely with suppliers ..." it's true but repetitive. I do tend to trap the repeats but my fingers will automatically type out these two words whenever they're given the chance.

I can think of better words to type out, e.g. "blondes", "breasts", "chocolate chip muffins" but my fingers are fixed on "worked closely".

Collective amnesia

After applying to the four vacancies I called nearly every recruiter who, in the last two months, had called and said they would consider me for a role they were handling.

Most had the same line. The job had gone, mainly filled by someone already working for the recruiting company, they apologised but I should have received an email to this effect. I hadn't.

It was still good to call them. It gave me the opportunity to discover if they had anything else suitable.

One agency thought they did have a suitable role. They actually called back 10 minutes later to tell me that actually the client wouldn't like my background in a mix of companies. Knowing the client I'm not surprised.

I think it is important to pursue agents just about every time. I know I occassionally lose heart and don't do this but most of the time I do.

Years ago I went for an interview with Enron. They kept me waiting at least half an hour without telling me what was going on. Just as I was about to walk out the recruiting manager turned up. Half way through the interview we were kicked out of the meeting room as someone else had booked it. We finished the interview on the seats at their reception.

Disgusted I went home and told the recruitment agent I didn't wan't to go any further with them. Boy, was I smug when they collapsed.

Anyway, at least a year later I saw an advert, from the same agent, for an up and coming energy company. I sent him my c.v. but heard nothing.

A few days later I saw the job advertised again. I phoned him. "Oh hello John," he said, "I thought of you but your salary requirements would be too high". The agent had somehow confused my requirements. I told him that the salary his client was offering was very acceptable and more than what I was earning at the time. Put right, he arranged an interview and bingo, I got the job.

So, it pays to phone.

Incidentally, the company went from growth to decline in less than a year. I was made redundant and the company eventually closed.

Also, the recruitment agent went off to Australia.

Amongst my phone calls today was one to the agent handling the company with whom I had an interview two weeks ago. Turns out the manager at the company is off sick.

I'm cool about this but my only concern is that they have a critical deadline which the person they're recruiting must meet. Every day delayed in recruiting that person (i.e. maybe me) is a day lost in meeting that deadline.

"Clock's ticking Clarice. Tick, tock, tick tock"

The strange case of the Support Manager and the Project Manager

My mangement career has been based on leading IT support teams. As a result of this I have had to deliver quite a few projects. Some of these projects were "vital to companies' on-going success" as I like to put on my c.v. Which is an understatement. Especially in one case where if I hadn't delivered the project on time the company would have failed a year earlier than it actually did.

This experience now means that I can market myself as both a support manager and an infrastructure project manager. Not least because I'm a PRINCE2 practitioner and APM Professional (those who know what this means can get off their knees now).

So a few days ago I sent my c.v. to an agent who was recruiting project managers. I phoned her today.

She didn't sound keen on my background as it's clear that my project management experience is a result of my team management experience. She had received c.v.s from people who've done nothing but project management for five years.

That's fine with me but she then asked if I could change the title of my last permanent role on my c.v., from "IT Support Services Manager" to something with the words "project manager" added. I refused. It wouldn't be true.

I even suggested she put my details in a secondary queue in case more promising candidates were all rejected. But she said she'd be happy to send my c.v. as it was. Crickey.

We talked about locations and she said that her client was based all over the UK and so I'd work out of their nearest office. "Please don't" I almost shouted and explained that this is the only place where I'm not looking to work. Well here and downtown Baghdad.


Another advert

This leads me on nicely to what's becoming a regular feature: advert of the day.

"High-level consultancy company requires an experienced Project Manager to run a number of multiple telecom and networking projects for operator. Must be PMI, or Prince 2 Certified with a proven track record in managing projects for the telco sector. Must be an Arab - Arabic speaking does not count. An excellent opportunity for those that know." Only location given is Middle East.

I'm not sure this is even legal. You couldn't put the ethnic requirement for a role in Britain (with certain very clear exceptions).

In the recent past I've seen adverts for roles in that region which come with "close protection" (i.e.bodyguard) or "compound accommodations".

I actually know (knew) enough Arabic to order beer. Not, perhaps, the most useful skill in that langauage.

Domain name

Currently my home page has a name which is a sub-domain off my ISP. It's rather an inelegant DNS. I use the home page to host my professional details, c.v. (oh so very useful as I found once again today) and links to other writings and this blog.

I'm thinking of registering a domain name in my own right. Not sure what to call it though.

Most people find it impossible to spell my surname. So, I use the initials JKC a lot.

jkc.com has been taken, as has jkc.net etc. I was thinking jkc.eu.com, maybe. The important thing is that it sounds professional. bigbadsiteof jkc.com just won't do.

Any ideas?

Guidelines

In this blog I've written a few guidelines for job hunting. I've also received advice from people who have posted comments.

But thinking about it, recruiters, especially interviewers, desperately need advice as well.

Here's a few:

• Don't display your cleavage when interviewing me (this happened to me last year). I've come to find out about the job, not where I could park my bike. If you're a gorgeous young woman I won't be able to get out of my seat at the end of the interview. If you're a 50 year old woman who looks like boiling water has been spilt down your front (as happened last year) I might be sick. Remember, I don't wear a codpiece to interviews so you don't have to wear a low-cut top.
• Don't interview me when drunk.
• Don't ask me if I need the job because I've got a girl pregnant or because I'm running up gambling debts.
• Do offer me tea or coffee or water.
• Do interview me on-time or at least send an explanation if there's an unavoidable delay. If I can overcome UK transport to arrive on time, you can sort out any mainframe explosions or whatever and still interview me promptly.
• Don't say your dog has the same name as my surname (which isn't Rover or anything dogg-ish).
• Do ensure I get feedback within, oh, six months. Especially when it's cost me hundreds of pounds to fly over and you work for a multi-billion dollar company.
• Do tell me from the outset if the end part of the recruitment process is something daft like handwriting analysis. I'm developing a herbal remedy for gullability but meantime let me know if you're a kooky company and we can stop wasting each other's time.

I'll update this list another time. Feel free to add suggestions (but it's my list remember).

Almost another day worthy of a Smiths' song

A certain feeling

When I started looking this morning I had a feeling - which I've sometimes had before - that today I wouldn't find any jobs to which I could apply. Often this feeling is correct and I've suspected it's a self-fulfilling mood.

The feeling was assisted by continuing search problems with www.jobserve.com. They replied to my email last night saying they did have problems yesterday but they had been resolved. So I advised them today that the problems were continuing.

I really like JobServe but had to give up using it this morning. Instead I tried www.theitjobboard.co.uk. This seems to have the same jobs as usually advertised on JobServe (most advertisers post on a multitude of sites). JobServe is, however, the industry leader (as far as I can tell) so I prefer to use it. I also looked, as I do every day, at www.monster.com.

I was able to apply for four jobs as a result. Two might have been the same job advertised by different people within the same agency. Nevertheless I count them as seperate applications. You never know, they may well be different jobs after all.

Always on my mind

One post I saw was for a job originally advertised at the end of July. I had phoned up the recruiter who said the role had been filled.

A month later I saw the same job re-advertised by the same recruiter. I phoned him up and he said he'd get back to me, last week. Of course, he didn't.

Today I saw the same job, same agent so I phoned him again. He wasn't in and I got his hold music - a dreary Elvis Presely song. They may as well play Lenard Cohen.

I was going to call again this afternoon but didn't.

Contact

And the reason was I went to have contact lenses fitted.

Never had contact lenses before. I've been quite happy to wear glasses when I've had to. But since my accident I have to wear glasses nearly all the time. And they also have to be large frame glasses. That would have been ok 20 years ago (when I was wearing National Health Service glasses because they went so well with my cardigans).

Apart from a disinterest in vanity issues (okay, a fondness for quirkyness) I was always worried about the safety issue. Nowadays, however, they have one day disposable lenses which are much safer. It's a real nuisance driving a car with an eye patch and glasses. The parrot doesn't know what to think. So, I reckon any risks with contact lenses are negated by the risks associated with wearing perpetually dirty glasses. Both being rather small risks.

Also, apparently people with glasses at job interviews are slightly less successful than people without (assuming the people without aren't bumping into walls etc). By the same reasoning blokes without glasses are more successful with women (that is women find them more attractive) than those with glasses. I'm not sure that's so with artic blonde women, which is my speciality.

I had reckoned that having them fitted would take, oh, an hour. Having never had contact lenses before I hadn't factored in the palavar involved. Getting the lens in the first eye took at least 20 minutes. The second eye took maybe half an hour. Then, they suggested I immediately took them out. The first one took about fifteen minutes. The second one. Well, after an age I gave up and the optician removed it in a second.

I have to go again to have another "teaching" session. But meantime I have to wait at least 24 hours before my left eye has calmed down. It got quite red.

It's not squeamishness. It's just that I am physiologically highly strung (but not emotionally highly strung). And my eyelid muscles are unusually strong.

All this palavar took at least two hours. So I was unable to phone agencies this afternoon.

Dated

My c.v. is an excercise in evolotion. Just like my career recently. (Damn, I was going to write about my new style c.v. at the weekend). My current c.v.s evolved from one created on January 26th 1997.

I know this because I put this date in the subject line of the Summary section of the document's properties. This subject line has been inherited in every version of the c.v. which I've produced in the last 7 years. And it's been visible to anyone using Windows who have moved their cursor over the file in a folder. I only noticed this today. Oh well.

Blogged

It's not only JobServe who may receive my c.v. I've had a few problems with Blogger as well. It doesn't always save properly. It has also removed line throws which has made some of my text look squashed.

Like most people, I only spot errors once I've published the post (despite checking it beforehand). I've tried to correct these errors but have recently failed due to some database problem on the Blogger site. In fact, sometimes it's crashed. Not happy but at least I know now.

Friday

Let's deal with Friday first. That's easy. I didn't apply for any jobs.

Oh, hang on. I did manage to squeeze one job application out. Thank goodness for my Access database that recorded this fact. It was a no-big deal job in a no-big deal part of England (where vowels are shorter).

My total number of applications for the week were: 13. And I got quite a few bites as well.

These bites are reassuring as it means my c.v. looks right to people.

Weekend

If this was a list of things I didn't do then it would include things like:

- update my own web site
- link it to this blog, like I said I would
- finish off the web site I'm designing for a friend
- learn a bit more Finnish

But it isn't. I did very little except learn a bit of XP.

Today

Absolutely, definitely didn't apply for any jobs today. I've learnt that in the current IT economic climate Monday are very quiet.

My all time favourite jobs web site www.jobserve.com has changed.

Apart from a frontpage which now has more choices there is one other important change. It runs like a pig on Valium.

I always look at Jobserve first but had to give up today. So, I went to my second daily port of call, www.monster.com. That worked but there were no jobs for which I could apply. (Actually the worst recruitment agency in the world heavily advertises there but I don't respond to their posts.)

Then I looked at www.gojobsite.co.uk. This doesn't have a very selective search selection so I looked at all jobs which included the word "manager" over the last few days. There were almost six thousand. Fortunately I can speed skim so I quickly shifted through them - there were none for which I could apply.

Then back to Jobserve. They too now have a less efficient search engine. You can choose the sector in which you're interested. For me that's "IT". But "IT" roles exist in all sectors so I had to search by "Any" sector.

Worst, apart from being slow, their database kept bringing up error messages and wrong data. Eventually I sent an email to them. I was nearly tempted to send my c.v. as well.

I also received a big reinforced letter from the British Computer Society. It contained a certificate confirming me as a Chartered Member, rather than mere Member. I'm already a Chartered Engineer and Chartered IT Professional. Thanks guys. I don't think it changes the letters after my name but it was jolly nice of them to send it to me anyway.

I sometimes think that my post-name letters should be uCEng and uCITP - the "u" standing for "unemployed".

When I was in London I attended their seminars on a regular basis. Initially this was purely to use them as a networking opportunity. The BCS very much approves of this. I got nowhere.

But then I found that the seminars were quite interesting. That doesn't make me a nerd (BTW what is the difference between a nerd and a geek?). A lot of the seminars were about management level issues, very non-technical. One was even about gender management and a lot of top birds attended that one.

So I started going to them because they were quite interesting. And that's when my networking improved. I gave out my business cards and even got names of people I could contact. No difference, I still got nowhere. Incidentally I also got nowhere with the top birds at the gender management conference. I wonder why?

Well, I'm now a chartered member of the British Computer Society and if that doesn't make supermodels jump in bed with me then I better go buy a Porshe.

Continuing syndrome

I phoned the agency handling the job in Duesseldorf. No change, it's still live but the client seems busy recruiting for more urgent roles (really, can you think of a more urgent role than IT service analyst manager? Casualty surgeon, perhaps).

Good news on the terrorism front. The recruitment agent handling the contract job in Cork is still alive. I phoned him today and he said the client hadn't got back to him yet. Which was surprising considering it was supposed to be an urgent role. (Maybe our friends over the water have scared them off.)

These are two examples of a certain syndrome: companies saying they have an urgent requirement then prevaricating like pravarication was an Olympic event.


Finally, here's a job advert I saw today:

"My client is looking for an experience [sic] Helpdesk Manager. You will have a minimum of 3 years [sic] experience working in a large coporate [sic] environment. An enthusiastic and manager focussed candidate will be ideal!!! You will have strong management skills and be responsible for building and maintaining strong relatioinships with clients at all levels. You will be monitoring the call system to ensure all faults are being logged, updated and resolved very eficiently. You will be working with stringent service levels and must be capable of enforciing and working to the SLA!!! Call me if you woul like to hear more about this exciting oportunity!!!! with a fantastic company!!!!"

[I got fed up putting sic everywhere. The above quotation is exact, okay.]

I never apply to jobs with less than five exlamation marks at the end of several sentences.

Big day

Big mistake

Today I applied for three jobs. I also had a couple of phone calls (and therefore bites).

Skimming through the adverts on www.jobserve.co.uk I saw one which included the following details: "Location: Cork, Southern Ireland, Country: United Kingdom."

Pass the Semtex, Gerry.

When I've accidentally thought that Finland was, until recently, a near-part of the Soviet sphere of influence, I've been put right with a few strong words and a "I'm not going to have sex with you now" glare.

Easily made mistake, actually.

But mistaking part of the Republic of Ireland as being in the United Kingdom is an entirely different level of mistake. It's the sort of mistake that results in your car exploding when you start it one morning.

Nevertheless I applied for the job. One of the readers of this site has suggested that pointing out these errors shows a good attention to detail. On this occassion, I thought I'd better not mention it to the agent.

Half-an-hour later the recruitment agent phoned. His voice didn't sound like he'd been kneecapped. We had a good chat and he's put my c.v. forward to the company.

Although I'm very English my ancestry is anything but English. In fact, genetically I'm 50% Irish, i.e. Republic of Ireland Irish. However the whole ancestry thing means nothing to me and I like being English (although I do know that some other nationalities find us exasperating). So, I didn't mention this ancestry. Makes no difference, I could do the job - a freelance team management role - and if they agree then I'll do it.

Big improvement

According to an article in this week's Computing journal there's been a major improvement in the UK IT job market. Budgets have increased for the first time in three years. But it's not going to necessarily translate into bigger salaries.

Another daft advert

This one, describing a role for a project manager, contained the following sentence: "The company does not use Prince 2 therefore it is not required." Even if you don't know anything about the PRINCE project management methodology this is a mad statement. And if you do know the methodology (I'm a practitioner by the way) it's even worse.

I didn't apply to this job for other reasons (as in they had a few requirements which I didn't match).

Leave it to me - itis

Recruitment consultants have told me, at seminars about job hunting, to always phone. There's so many IT people looking for work that it marks you out and may give you an advantage.

In the last few days quite a few agencies, when I've phoned them, have said "yes, we have your c.v., leave it to us and we'll call you back". And that's that. No chat about the job or my details.

Some agencies send an auto-reply email. I received one today which said they'd received 50 (that's fifty) applications for this job. My only response can be "is that all?". Following by "you lightweight wuss". 50? These days? Come on.

One agency who did this to me today phoned me back half an hour later. I was quite shocked. We went through the role and it sounded quite appropriate. He suggested I looked at the company's web site but said I should ensure that I use the .co.uk suffix rather than .com. He didn't say why but there was a little bit of an edge in his voice. He also said that the company hadn't realised the issue when they set up the web site.

What do you think I did?

I had to check the .com prefix. Well, it might have been from their American sister company or something.

Nope. It was a site about the hardest pornography I've ever seen (I used to be involved in policing a bank's network so I've seen some quite dubious porn in my time). The titles to the links were bad enough. I don't think it was illegal porn but it was very hardcore. Ridiculous in fact. But very funny that a serious consultancy firm could easily be confused with them.

Worst still, this company's own website (ending in .co.uk) wasn't working at all today. I'll check them out tomorrow.

Almost back to normal

Today

After a dreary start to the week (three applications by Tuesday) today I applied for six jobs. That's better.

One of the comments I recently received on this blog reminded me to persist in phoning people. This I did.

I also phoned agencies to whom I had applied a couple of weeks ago and who have now readvertised the jobs. These calls were well received.

At the moment there seems to be a wierd scramble in the UK and European IT jobs market. People post jobs but then are tied up resourcing other requirements.

I also phoned the agency handling the company who interviewed me last Wednesday. They apologised for not getting back to me and said they'd contact me after 4pm today. They haven't (mind you they still might call this evening, they do seem to work long hours).

In my last permanent role I had to recruit and interview lots of people. And do my day job. And run a major project at the same time. I have to admit I was sometimes tardy in providing feedback so I can't throw stones now.

C.V.

Not mine but an old friend's c.v. - he lives abroad and today asked me to review it and a covering letter he'd written. He'd forgotten the eighteenth rule of c.v.s - always have one ready.

He knows me well (we've been friends for 20 years) and knew exactly what to expect. Lots and lots of comments. As I told him, I'd even red line God's c.v.

I sometimes find it funny that people ask me to review their c.v.s when mine can't get me a job. But actually I've heard my c.v. is pretty good - I've done a lot of work on it and have based it on advise from professionals (recruiters, outplacement consultants etc). Also, I've seen lots of other people's c.v.s (when I was recruiting for teams) so I know what to avoid.

Comments

Last night a friend mentioned that I had a comment on one of my posts. I hadn't noticed (people who know me won't be surprised about this). In fact I've had a few comments and they've all been positive. Thank you to the people who posted them.

I agree with the messages. It's important to be persistent, to phone contacts and to network, network, network. In fact networking has worked for me in the past: I gained a very good job that way and also recruited people by this means. But I sometimes think it doesn't pay off so well, at least in the UK. I'll write some more about this, maybe at the weekend.

I'm also thinking of putting a link to my main site. This contains my professional details (including a c.v.) but doesn't display my address or phone number. It does have my email address and initially I was worried this would result in loads of spam. But I get loads of spam anyway.

Calm down

OK, today I applied for two jobs. That's not many is it? But it's a 100% increase on yesterday's applications.

I even tried to phone the agency handling the job in Amsterdam (to which I applied yesterday). This involved phoning a Netherland's number and then listening to standard hold music for a while. I gave up.

Now, just because I've only applied for three jobs this week, haven't heard back from the interview last week, or from the six other bites currently outstanding, is nothing to get excited about. Don't write to your MP just yet. It's just the crappy world of job hunting.

Saw this job today:

"My client needs a Project Manager to work on a business change program in a financial environment. You will need to have worked on business projects from end-end with a proven track record in delivering projects on time. Your background must include working in sales and financial environments and the position is very much business orientated so an IT background would not be suitable."

What's wrong with this advert (hint, it's the bit in orange)?

Too difficult. Okay. I saw this advert because it was posted on www.jobserve.com in the, wait for it, IT section.

And another thing. I looked at Blogger's "blogs of note" section. This blog wasn't on it. Why not?

After the storm ...

On Friday I didn't apply for any jobs. Didn't even look. I had to go up to London again, this time for an eye appointment. (Since you ask, it's fine thank you, my improvement means an operation is now out of the question and a doctor said I've made a remarkable recovery considering my accident).

Let's recap. Last week I applied for 12 applications. I had three bites. I also attended one interview, my first since completing the last assignment.

So today I looked at all jobs posted since Thursday afternoon through to 10:30 today. That must be over 2000 jobs. And guess how many I applied to?

Go on guess.

Hint: remember, I've had a few good weeks since coming back from Helsinki.

That's right. One whole job. And that was posted on Friday. It's a pan-European role based in Amsterdam. I'd love to do it as would loads of others. I call them tomorrow.

I did see another job I'd love to do. It was right up my street (it involved coaching and team leadership). And the advert had a lot of detail so the client had obviously put a lot of consideration into the job.

They even mentioned that you had to have your own car as the office wasn't close to public transport.

Damn.

I can drive and I have my own car. I also have a full driving licence. But for a few months two years ago I couldn't drive. After my accident the authorities had to review whether I was fit enough to drive. They decided I was. Nevertheless I'm wary of taking any jobs for which driving is a requirement. Although I'm very unlikely to lose my licence, if I did it'd mean I'd lose my job. Also, I no longer enjoy driving. I have to wear an eye patch when I drive (so I don't get double vision) and the reduction in visual capacity isn't nice at all. I'll take jobs where some travel is required but those requiring day-to-day driving are out. This limitation is annoying but necessary.

I saw a couple of jobs readvertised. I applied to them just over a week ago. I called the agencies handling the jobs. It must be the season of indifference in the recruiting world.

One agency was surprised I hadn't received their email application form. They said they'd send it again but so far haven't. The other agency had been handling other work and hadn't got around to looking at my c.v. This was actually quite a good opportunity for me to tell them how well my background suited their role. They said they'd get back to me.

Couple of busy days

Wednesday

Before leaving for my interview in London I managed to fire off a couple of applications to recruiters.

One of the recruiters called back today. She went through my details and determined that I didn't have .NET or SQL experience. Although it was jolly nice of her to phone, the reason those technologies were'nt on my c.v. I sent her was that I don't know them at all. I do try to exclude from my c.v. technologies I've never touched. Maybe I should have a section on the document titled Technologies I Don't Know and have several pages listing them all.

As fas as I'm concerned, however, her call still counts as a bite.

I also received an email from a recruiter about a contract role, so I sent him my c.v. And yes, that counts as a bite if they contact me unbidden.

Whilst on the train to London I also received a phone call from another recruiter about a freelance project assignment. Definitely interested.

When I arrived in London I went to the City Business Library to find out about the company who was interviewing me. I didn't have that much time. But I did find out that they've been making a loss for the last six years.

Then went for the interview which started after 6pm as they were running late. I left well after 7pm and arrived back home after 10pm.

Oh yes, the interview went well I think. There were no questions or situations they described which phased me. In my career I've pretty much done what they're asking for. In fact, I'm probably a bit senior for this role and certainly used to better salaries. We'll see what happens.

Thursday (today)

Although I aim to make five applications per week, as an absolute minimum, I let pass weeks when I've had interviews. Interviews tend to be too disruptive to job hunt around them (and I do a lot of preparation before hand).

Yet today alone I applied for six jobs.

I phoned a few agencies after applying. Most hadn't yet seen my c.v., some were busy on other recruitment requirements and said they'd get back to me, and one was kurt to the point of rudeness (with a "why are you phoning me?" attitude).

Preparation

In all that excitement yesterday I forgot to mention that I managed to squeeze off an application. Mind you, I'd have probably forgotten anyway - it was one of those job adverts which are a bit non-descript and probably doesn't have a real job at the end of it.

Today I also managed to squeeze off another application.

I also sent more details to the agency I contacted yesterday.

In the afternoon I got prepared for tomorrow's interview. Apart from getting out an appropriate shirt etc I made sure my shoes were polished. They are now. If you look at them in the sunlight you'll probably go blind.

A year or so ago an MBA graduate told me about one interview he had on Wall Street. The investment bank interviewer commented on his well-polished shoes. It showed attention to detail, he said. I guess when you're setting up fake companies, and routing funds off-shore to evade tax payments, then attention to detail is required. And when you come out of Club Fed your skills in shoe polishing may open the one career left to you. So, it's important.

My shoes are so shiny that I could probably have got a job at Enron. In fact, a few years back I did have an interview with them. I'll write about it another time but after the interview I told my recruitment company that I wasn't interested.

My preparation ritual also involves finding out about the prospective employer. But this is now very difficult. The information, from sources such as The FT, are no longer free.

The company I'm seeing tomorrow doesn't have any financial information on their web site (I bet their web server is full-up just with all the Flash animations they use).

No fear. When I get to London tomorrow I'll visit the City Business Library. They have free financial and news clippings of practically all listed companies.

Professionalism

People who suffered infarcts yesterday should probably not read this bit.

After I updated this blog yesterday evening, quite a bit later, my mobile rang again. It was the recruitment agent handling the company I'm seeing tomorrow. He confirmed the interview then spent over half an hour going through the details. Appreciating he was still in the office I suggested he called me today but he was quite happy, in fact insistent, that he would brief me there and then.

For those readers who are still conscious I'll reiterate. A computer recruitment company calls at the weekend and after hours during the week. Moreover they're courteous.

Compare and contrast with:

Today I phoned an agency about the details I sent them. They were fine but it was clear that they hadn't got round to sending off my details. Not because of pressing tasks, they just hadn't got round to it.

I phoned another agency about a different role. We had a bit of a chat but in the background I could hear "Let me be your fantasy" by Baby-D.

In case you haven't been following this blog astutely I should remind you that I'm not trying to be:

a. a plumber or

b. a sales assistant at Miss Selfridges.

(Not yet anyway)

And even if I was trying for one of the above positions I still wouldn't expect to hear classic Euro-house music in the background. Or any other sort of music for that matter.

Trick advert

In my daily trawl I noticed this job advert:

"...dynamic individual to head up one of their main projects. The role is one, which will require a good technical skill set, with an appreciation for the commercial aspects of the projects. You must be able to demonstrate experience within the Web field. An interest in Golf is essential, please do not apply for this position unless you can demonstrate a good understanding and passion for Golf. The PM is responsible for delivering single or multiple projects of high quality, on time and to budget through the effective management of people ...". See how they treat the word "golf" with a capital G.

Don't worry, I didn't apply. But maybe I should have done. Lied outrageously and got an interview. Then taken an AK 47, or maybe an Uzi, to the interview and gone postal.

This must have been a trick advert. Maybe anyone who applies and confirms their "passion for Golf" has their details put on a recruitment blacklist. And maybe that blacklist gets sent to the police so they can be framed for various serious crimes. Though, of course, playing golf is in itself a serious crime.

Write your own title

Do I have to do all the work around here? It gets hard thinking of an appropriate title five days a week so don't expect a new one every day. Got it?

Friday
What was already a good week (10 applications by Thursday) was rounded off by a completely flat Friday. Of the 1,500 or so jobs I reviewed not one was suitable.

Saturday
In the afternoon I had a pint of Bavarian beer then went to the supermarket. Whilst I was there, staggering a bit in the frozen section (I can't drink enough to get a decent tolerance to alcohol), my mobile phone rang.

It was a recruitment agency. They had received my c.v. about some role but had another role which they thought was more suitable. We then spent 15 or so minutes, them in their office, me near the frozen chips, discussing the position.

The role seemed quite suitable. The only issue was salary. It pays less than the minimum I've been seeking. However, it's still well above average UK salaries and a lot more than what I'm earning at the moment (which is in reality a negative figure). As the market improves, maybe their renumeration will improve. Or maybe I'll get headhunted by some well-paying company who won't close down in mysterious circumstances one year later. And it means I won't be sitting where I'm currently sitting which is far from good (especially if you're an urbanite like me).

Quite a few readers may just have died of infarcts, a result of the shock of reading that an agency phoned on a Saturday. Good - that's less competition for me.

Sunday
After speaking with me on Saturday the agency sent me a cover sheet, with various basic details for me to complete. I thought it best to wait until Sunday as by then the Hofbrau beer would have hopefully left my system.

I also did an induction course at the local gym. Although I'm keen to leave this location I guess I shouldn't pfaff around any longer and start going to the gym again.

For an induction course there was a surprising amount of exercise.

Monday (today)
Body hurts.

Whilst I was having breakfast the agency phoned again. They suggested a few changes to my c.v. and covering letter which were uncontroversial (I haven't seen the job spec so they had a much better idea of what the client was seeking).

The agent also stressed that it was important to this client that grammar and spelling was perfect. Having read numerous c.v.s I could sympathise.

A few years back I spent most of the day at a recruitment agency interviewing candidates. It wasn't well organised. The agency would bring a candidate into the interview room and hand me their c.v. at the same time - I didn't get to see the document beforehand.

One candidate interviewed very well. Rather nice, unassuming chap. I actually wrote down that he should receive a second interview (from someone else).

On the train home I got to look at his c.v. Without doubt it is the worst c.v. in the world (not was, it must still be the worst). No grammar, attention to spelling or consistent typefaces. And incredibly arrogant. I showed it to my then girlfriend who found it equally hysterical. So, I decided, after all, that he couldn't have a second interview.

Back to my c.v.:
Although the changes suggested by the agent were uncontroversial and minor it was still very difficult to cramn them all in to my already packed (but neatly laid out) two pages. It took me most of the morning to achieve this. During the call the agent stressed so much about grammar and spelling that I suspected he was hinting at something. So, I asked him if he'd seen any obvious howlers in my c.v. but he said no. But I checked and checked the c.v., spell checked it, grammar checked it, read it out aloud etc. It looked fine.

This evening he phoned and said it looks like the client wants to interview me late Wednesday afternoon. Great. First interview. I'm awaiting confirmation from him.

Deja applice
NB. I know there should be accents on the above but I can't be bothered (they're not very easy to produce on Blogger's on-line editor). I don't know if applice is a real past-tense French verb either. But I also don't care.

The French may be too chicken to attack the fourth largest army in the world, I reckon they'd also be too chicken to take me on for messing with their langauge.

Anyway, a week ago I saw an advert for a suitable job in another county in the UK. I applied and forgot about it.

Today I saw the same advert. I phoned the agency who said they had received my c.v. But they thought that as I don't live near the company I wouldn't be suitable.

Think of a word which ryhmes badly with "twat". How about "twat". That ryhmes badly with "twat".

Twat. I'm more than happy to relocate. In fact I'm quite keen, bordering on the pathologically enthusiastic to get the hell out of this town. I explained this to him, nicely, and he said yes, he'd consider me. He sent me some details and tomorrow (when this wine I'm drinking has left my system) I'll send him some further information.

By the way it was only a few years ago that I learnt what "twat" meant. I'd been using it for decades by then. And it was a female colleague who told me. Well tough, as Ian Cognito said, women shouldn't be offended if they use blokes' swear words to describe their genitals.

Actually it was the same colleague - a very well spoken polite woman - who once related how someone had used the "cunt word". I think she was trying to say "c word" but got carried away. That or it was an incredibly rude word.

Toast

If you really need to you can actually swallow toast quite quickly indeed.

This happened today whilst I was having breakfast - my mobile phone rang. Speed swallowing the toast - aided by it being coated with strawberry jam - I answered the phone.

It was a recruitment agency asking me if I'd be interested in a release management job up North. Indeed I would be. He said he'd get back to me.

I hadn't applied for the job but the agency must have had my details. I've applied for so many jobs that I think most agencies have a copy of my c.v.

Depending on your point of view it was either poor manners or too much keeness for someone to call at breakfast-time. Actually, though, I have my breakfast at a decent time, which is much later than most people do. It's one of the few benefits of not having a job.

When I started my trawl today I saw that the job had been advertised late yesterday afternoon.

Including this job - which counts as a bite - today I applied for seven jobs. That means my total so far for this week is 10 applications.

Of these seven, two were for the same job advertised by different agencies. I still count each one though.

One of the recruiters had specifically written on the job description that people interested should call her. So, I sent my c.v. then called her.

I then got a very typical response: "Oh, I'll get back to you once I've screened through the c.v.s". Why do recruiters ask people to call them then say they'd rather not talk to anyone?

By the way, I'm quite suitable for this job, having had trans-national and IT relocation experience. Just what they're looking for.

End of the month

Today

Let's get today over with first. Today I applied for one job. That means the total for this week, so far, is three applications. If I put my mind to it I think I can reach my minimum of five applications by Friday.

Just in case I get called for an interview soon I got a haircut this afternoon. This means I won't get called for an interview in the next month, until my hair needs another cut.

Not too much to report about my haircut: head, hair, scissors - you know the score.

If you wanted to describe my hairstyle without using the word "short" then you'd have difficulties.

Summary of last month

This was my first full month of uninterrupted job hunting.

Looking through my database of applications I find I applied for 63 jobs. These resulted in six bites (that is, a positive response of some sort, not necessarily an interview). That's just about a ratio of 1:10 which I've found (from previous job hunting experiences) is sadly the norm.

I haven't heard back from any of the bites including the recruiters for the jobs in Singapore and Duesseldorf. Again, from my previous experiences I'm not at all surprised.

Other achievements

Funny that I call 63 applications without one interview an achievement. Anyway, I've managed to watch German TV news most days (there's a webcast), I've done a little bit of business development and I'm actually learning XP.

The latter is very good. After my accident I was a little bit worried about my ability to memorise and recall things. In fact I've never had a very good memory. People ask me how I took a degree in electronics with such a poor memory and inability in mathematics. "Well," I answer, "it wasn't easy."

Oh, and I resolved an issue surrounding a particular use of apostrophes.

Long weekend

The UK public holiday arrived just in time. Even unemployed people need breaks, at least I do.

Most of the long weekend was spent studying XP. In other words, it was a very boring weekend. Much like most days.

Hang on. It wasn't that boring. I upgraded my PC to XP's SP2. So, that makes it ... no, sorry, that was boring as well (and uneventful, thankfully).

Today

A good start to the week as I applied for two jobs. This was after trawling through over 2000 jobs (actually I skimm rather than trawl) on web sites going back to Friday lunchtime.

Friday

I managed to squeeze out three applications which is unusual on a Friday, especially one next to a long weekend.

This means that last week I made 18 applications where my target is five. I'm quite chuffed about that.

Which is super daft as none of those applications resulted in interviews or offers (at least not yet).

Motivation

I found it very hard to get writing this blog this evening. And I didn't bother to update it at all on Friday.

So, I wonder what it's like for you readers. But I think you should show some patience and perseverence.

It is of course, hard to keep motivated when Blogger decides to clear your whole edit page just before you click the publish button. This happened just now and I had to retype most of the above.

Now I'm back in the swing I'll post more to this blog tomorrow.




Probably.

Excitement

It's difficult keeping the excitement going in this blog site.

Anyway, I applied for three jobs today. One of those was an online application. Normally I don't like these as they don't give you the chance of writing a covering letter.

But these days it seems agencies don't even read covering letters, and today I really didn't want to go to the effort anyway.

For those who haven't been paying attention, "writing covering letters" means writing covering emails. It is quite a big "no no" in IT to send a paper letter, that's so second millenium.

Although I've applied for quite a few jobs this week it still seems quiet. And I reckon the reason for this is that recruiters are winding down for the UK public holiday on Monday. It probably means tomorrow (Friday) will be quieter than usual.

Keeping the interest

Regular readers will know that I don't just write about the number of applications I make or the number of calls I receive about jobs.

Not at all.

But today that's all I'm going to write about. Today I applied for five jobs, bringing the total applications for this week to 11 jobs. And there's still one and half days to go to the end of the week.

I'll just add that I did phone one agency. They had put in their job description that experience of telecoms would be desirable.

Well, I've had responsibility for the delivery of telecom services to offices (although people doing the actual techie stuff reported to me).

It turns out that this requirement wasn't desirable but downright necessary. I've seen quite a lot of this: putting down something as desirable which is in fact necessary.

I also saw this job description today:

"... The perfect candidate would have experience in angering the following areas; project changes, project problems, infrastructure, 3rd party suppliers, negotiations, financial spends (small), charts to record progress and experience of working under ITIL practices/project management methodology. The main duties on a daily basis consist of; insure project objectives are met, lead/build/manage the service delivery projects, deployment of all projects end to end, execute a small amount of project plans and identify risks or problems within a project..."

Not sure what they meant by angering.

Different

The start of today was much like yesterday.

I trawled through page after page of IT jobs for which I was not suitable.

Then things started to improve and I shot off three applications in the morning.

And after lunch I managed another three.

But of these six applications no-one has called back yet.

Another poor start

Quite poor in fact. I didn't see any jobs today - and I look through 1,000 to 1,500 jobs each day.

But a friend did contact me. He'll be leaving his job soon as he's emigrating. There's a chance it may become available. Quick chat and I sent him my c.v.

So, technically it's one application today and one bite.

Also, I spoke with the agency who contacted me last week about a Unix job. They hadn't sent the job spec to me. The reason? They forgot.

Well, they've now sent it to me and it said - in much more detail - what their job description had said.

He'll let me know when he gets feedback from the client.

'

During the week it dawned on me that a sentence I was using in my c.v. and web site might have an error.

The sentence was "I have over 10 years experience in IT".

A few weeks back I read Lynne Truss's "Eat, Shoots and Leaves" which is all about the misuse of the apostrophe and other punctuation issues.

Looking again at my c.v. I suddenly thought: "hang on, shouldn't it be 10 years' experience?".

But then again, I don't really believe that the years possess the experience. It's me who's had the experience after all.

I contacted by e-mail Frank, a friend of mine, who now translates business Spanish to English for universities in Spain. Before that he was an English teacher in several countries.

His reply was that the apostrophe was indeed needed. Bother, that meant I had to change my c.v. and web site in various places.

As well as replying to me Frank accidentally included the email address of someone else. It took a few days to work out what had happened. By coincidence this person was a German teacher. He replied to Frank with his view that the apostrophe wasn't needed. That's what I wanted to hear.

But Frank then quoted a similar example from The Economist where the apostrophe was used.

I'll happily argue with translators, language tutors, even Karate purple belts but I won't argue with The Economist.

Meantime I had been browsing the web and came across www.grammarerrors.com.

They didn't have the answer but did have a form with which you could ask questions. So, I asked the question and within an hour I had a reply. It concurred that the apostrophe was required.

And thinking about it you'd say:

"I have one year's experience"

So, you'd say "I have two years' experience" and therefore it's "I have 10 years' experience".

Whilst custom often beats logic when it comes to punctuation punch ups in this case they agree.

My web site will be updated soon.

Two today

Today I applied for two jobs.

That brings my number of applications for this week to: 12

That's not bad at all, especially considering I initially felt it was a bad week.

And during this week I had two bites which is better than my expected average (one bite per 10 applications).

The agency who called me yesterday said they were going to send me a job spec. They didn't. So I emailed a reminder and also confirmed the pay rate we'd discussed.

An improvement

In that today I applied for six jobs.

That means that this week I've applied for a total of 10 jobs. And I've still got half a day to go.

Furthermore I had two bites.

One was an email from a company contacting me on the off chance I was interested in a contract in London. I was, spoke with them and they said they'll put my c.v. forward.

The other one was more noteworthy in that I initially had doubts about applying. It was for a UNIX support manager. Now, I've had responsibility for systems which ran Unix. But my involvement was to recruit people who were experts in Unix. My own experience of Unix is quite limited.

Initially I looked at the advert and decided not to apply. After applying for a few other jobs I went back to it. Using a c.v. tailored for another job I sent off an application on the off-chance.

Twenty minutes later the recruiter called. We had a good chat - it turns out we went to the same university (not that we knew each other). I was honest about my experience in Unix and he was fine with that.

He said he'd put my name forward and send a job specification by email.

Just to be clear

Last night I wrote that the British Secret Service doesn't have a web site. This is true. I suppose having one of the most distinctive buildings in London, by the river, is sufficient publicity.

Our security service (slightly equivalent to the FBI) does have a web site as does GCHQ (slightly equivalent to the NSA).

In fact, this morning I went to the home page of www.monster.co.uk to find that MI5 (the other name for our security service) had an advert linked on their front page. The advert was for surveillance officers which is not something I'd like to do. Nevertheless I looked through the details of the job and they warned that their security vetting could take eight months. They also advised to keep applications secret, limited to only close family, so that probably precludes recording the fact on a blog.

It's not only job seekers ...

... who get fed up with the situation. Here's an advert posted in www.jobserve.co.uk:

"Oh well, yet another Project Manager jobad to write - pretty much the same as last time, but a different location... oh well, here goes... Please, please, please can you have a solid background in Project Management, preferably within SAP implementations, ideally with a knowledge of SAP Retail, the SAP Master Data component and generic SAP skills to configuration level (albeit, this is not strictly essential, as long as you have worked on some type of SAP projects). Any experience within the retail or distribution sectors would be ideal (infact, if you have, I may even be pursuaded to buy you a pint) AND FINALLY, good man-management skills, as you will be responsible for both permanent and contract staff within your team. Have I missed anything? oh well, if I have, we can chat about it tomorrow - it's way too late (7:15pm) and I have to go home. Nite all!"

Has he missed anything? Only that 7.15pm is a wussy time to call late in the world of IT.

In case you ask, no, I didn't apply for it as I've had no exposure to SAP.

A slightly better today

... in that I applied for two jobs this morning.

I didn't find any this afternoon, so my total for this week is four applications. Wow.

Just one more and I'll have hit my week's target: five applications. I've got one and half days left to achieve it.

Some facts

Facts, as we know, are generally bad things as they can get in the way of opinions.

For some reason I had the opinion that Singapore would be quite a corrupt place. Well, it has got a governing party which plays very hardball indeed with the opposition. So, I suspected that their businesses would be similarly suspect.

Turns out that they rank number five in Transparency International's comprehensive list of un-corrupt countries.

That's impressive. The UK is eleventh and the USA is 18th. Finland is, of course, the least corrupt country in the world.

There's been a little bit of criticism in the last few months, years and even decades, about the Central Intelligence Agency of the US government.

But I can't fault them. When I want to find out about a country I go to their World Factbook and I'll get a very apt synopsis about the country in question. Today I found it very useful in finding more about Singapore.

Now, it doesn't give GPS co-ordinates of military bases for cruise missile attack, or infiltration/exfiltration sites for special forces use. But there's very little call for that sort of thing in my line of work so I can't complain. I'd imagine some US military personnel are a bit miffed about the lack of such information but I'd tell them to look at other countries' intelligence services. For example, the British Secret Service doesn't even have a web site. If you ask me that's taking secrecy a bit too far.

Monday, Tuesday, whatever

Monday

Applied for a job, "a job" as in one job. And that was a job posted on the Friday afternoon after I had stopped looking.

This was really just going through the motions, it wasn't a good match and I didn't bother to phone the agency.

Tuesday (today)

Only looked this morning but didn't see any suitable jobs.

Was, however, emailed by an agency for a contract management role which might fit. I phoned them but they were busy so I sent them an email.

I was also phoned by the client for the job in Singapore. We had a very good chat but I had the feeling that they weren't going to select me ("we'll get back to you in a week ... we might also consider you for other roles"). Funny chat, it went a bit off interview (questions about the seaside town in which I live, discussions about languages etc). Must remember to close the window before I do telephone interviews. The interviewer could hear seagulls in the background.

Total applications this week: 2

Slow down

Today I applied for two jobs.

My total for this week is 12 applications.

I received two bites, well three if you include the call in response to an application made last week.

As usual I only looked for jobs this morning and didn't make any calls.

Not that I'm panicking

Oh gosh no.

I mean a day without applying for jobs. Doesn't phase me at all.

Why should it? I mean, today I applied for, er, 2 jobs.

Both were for relocation projects, of which I have some experience.

I phoned one of the agencies a few hours after I had applied. The recruiter said that my c.v. didn't really jump out at her. She felt I wasn't technical enough for the role.

Let's gloss over that - I don't want Blogger.com to remove this site.

But half an hour after emailing the second application, to a different agency, I heard the happy sound of my mobile ringing. It was the recruiter.

We went through the job details - a relocation programme in Singapore with lots of money. I haven't been to Singapore but I've heard it's a fine city.

We then covered the awkward bit about my career gap.

He phoned back a little later and asked for a more detailed c.v. My first thoughts was: how am I going to put in more details in just two pages? Then I relaxed and asked if he'd be happy if I went to three pages. Actually, I think that's what he wanted. So I added loads more detail (which means loads more bullet points in my case) and sent it off to him.

I should hear from him next week.

So, this week I've had two bites and made 10 applications. Not bad. And one half-day to go, except it's Friday 13.

But this afternoon ...

... I apply for: 0 jobs.

Blast, a flat day. No jobs applications made. No-one phoned.

Back again

This morning the number of applications I made was: 0

Not a nice feeling. I can normally find two jobs which warrant applications. I'm hoping things improve this afternoon.

A change in conditions

Yesterday it was gray and rainy.

Today it was dry, sunny and rather warm.

But you're not reading this blog for a record of local weather (are you?).

Yesterday I applied for two jobs.

Today I applied for six jobs. This includes an agency who called me first, to see if I was available for some release management work (an IT service specialism). "Yes" and I sent them my c.v.

They later called back to ask if I had any enterprise management software experience. The reason it wasn't on my c.v. is mainly because I haven't used it at all. Nevertheless, in reality it's just an application, the agency recognised this and said they'd put my c.v. forward.

I also saw an advertisement from the agency who got me the last role. I phoned them up but they hadn't uploaded my latest c.v. onto their system. No worries. I told them the URL of my web site and from there they could see a version of my latest c.v.

Let's see if they get back to me.

The German question

I got through to the agency handling my application for a job in Duesseldorf.

Their client hadn't got back to them. Not too surprising as Germans tend to get a nasty outbreak of vacations around this time of year. And remember that Germans have quite a lot of vacations to take.

It was good to talk to the agency again. They advised me that they had put my name forward for two very similar jobs. And for these jobs they had only put forward a total of four names, two of them being me!

So, what do I do if I'm offered this docklands contract before the Duesseldorf (permanent) job? Unfortunately I'm in no position to hedge. These days the trick is to get the first job going, as long as it's half-way suitable. And having applied to this company in Germany (via the same agency) last year I know they could pfaff for months and months before getting back to me.

But don't get me wrong. I'd much rather be in Duesseldorf than the docklands.

Quiet start

It's a gray, rainy day in southern England. Not at all inspiring.

Apart from the phone call I received I made two applications today. I also watched German news webcasts (to practise my German) and studied a bit of XP.

I reckon it's quite important that I get the XP technical exam under my belt. It would show that I still have the ability to be technical. It would also be good for me personally. I haven't done much intelluctally intense work since my accident.

Bitten

Today I got a phone call!

And it was in response to an application I'd made last week: a freelance management job in the docklands (of London).

That's made me feel a bit better. Out of 19 applications I get one bite (a response). Ideally I'd expect one bite per 10 applications but this is the holiday season.

Biggish week

Today I applied for two jobs.

My total number of applications for this week is 19 (remember my weekly target is 5)!

But I've had zero bites this week. That's not so good.

Meetings

As usual in the afternoon I phoned the recruiters to whom I'd sent emails in the morning.

I got through to one but they asked if I could phone back as they were in a meeting.

What?

My view is that if you're in a meeting your phone should be switched off or diverted.

(OK, when I managed support teams I kept my mobile on but set to a silent mode. That way I could surreptiously see if someone had sent me a text message telling me a server was down or whatever. And participants in the meeting understood that I could run out at anytime - not that I ever did as I don't like running).

The recruiter said he'd call back in half an hour. And guess what?


He did.

But this was only to tell me he wasn't going to put my name forward - too long a career gap.

Still, I was quite impressed that he phoned back.

Other calls
I phoned another agency today and he said they'd call back. And guess what?


He didn't.

I also phoned the agency fronting the job in Duesseldorf (and this is how you spell its name unless you have umlauts on your PC). The agent wasn't around but I was assured by his colleague that he would have got back to me if there was any news - and from my experience of that agency I can believe them.

Agency risks
I know the market is tight and a lot of people are applying for jobs with IT agencies. And I know that, because of the recession, a lot of IT agencies are themselves under pressure.

Nevertheless, in my normal roles I get heavily involved in companies' IT recruitment processes with agencies. This is clear on my c.v.

So I would have thought it would be in agencies interest not to antagonise me with slack behaviour. The day will come when I'm back recruiting and I'll be choosing recruitment agencies to help me. The ones who don't return calls, don't give feedback, don't call when they say they will, won't be doing business with me.

There's one agency in particular who recognises this fact and are very good. They haven't found me a job (and I'm not looking for special treatment from them) but they have made the effort to keep in touch. A few other agencies - actually they're more search and selection consultants - have done the same.

Biting

I measure how good my application techniques are (i.e. c.v. and accompanying email) by the number of "bites" I get.

Well, I call them bites but others may call them responses. But I prefer bites. This is when a recruiter has called me back or responded very positively when I've called them, and probably agreed to put my name forward.

In recent times, because the market is so bad, I aim for one bite for every 10 job applications. That's outrageously low but, unfortunately, realistic.

A week in a day

Today I applied for five jobs. My target is five per week so you can see why I chose the title.

I didn't get any calls back though.

The North-South divide
The United Kingdom is only united because we say so. "We" being the English. Frankly I've no idea how the Welsh, Scots and a few Irish fell for that "union" trick. Glad they did though, they're very useful in wars. And of course, there are other uses as well. The Scots have quite a bit of oil. The Welsh have quite a bit of sheep and the Ulster people have quite a bit of our money. Hang on, that can't be right, can it? It's not Semtex is it? Bowler hats? Maybe it's Guiness.

Even within England there's a bit of discord. There's the south of England, usually referred to as "England" and then there's the North of England.

The people in the North of England have a proud culture and very significant history. And they don't half go on about it.

The people in the south of England don't need to brag.

Today I applied for a job in Cheshire - that's well and truly in the North of England.

After a few hours I phoned the agency. His immediate question was "why do you want to move to Cheshire?"

"To have the wheels stolen from my car ... I've heard heroin is more readily available up there ... to increase the chances of catching a veneral disease ... to learn how to ask stupid questions in a daft accent".

It turns out that his client really didn't want to recruit people from outside the region. Fine with me but why didn't they say so in the advert e.g "Northern monkeys need only apply".

Reading

Some people speed-read. Some others skim.

I speed-skim.

When I'm scrolling through web pages of job sites I often merely glance at the details. That's all I need to determine whether the job is appropriate or not. But I couldn't tell you the details advertised.

Sometimes I think "why did I ignore that job?". I go back to it and read it with more effort. I always find that I was right to reject it.

Wednesday

What more can I say.

Today I responded to three adverts.

One was for a job advertised by another agency a few days ago (who never got back to me even though they said they would). I eventually got through to this agency but my career gap was a show-stopper. (During my career gap I gained four qualifications and language skills, so I did a bit more than just job hunt and stare at a hospital ceiling. Nevertheless.)

I spoke to the agency who had been handling my application for a job with a company based in Prague. They'd been advertising similar jobs again. Now, they tell that the jobs for which I applied had been filled. But they had some more and sent me the details of one.

In better times I would have told them to forget it. In better times I would have told them to forget it months ago. But the important thing is to get a job and getting a job in Prague would be very good indeed.

I spoke with a couple of other agencies as well. One had forgotten that I don't just do project management so it was good to remind them of my core skills.

Statistically a good day

Today I applied for five jobs.

This has to be good because my target is five jobs per week. I've already applied for nine jobs this week.

But it's misleading. None of the agencies have phoned me back. And that means I'm no nearer to getting a job. So that makes it a bad week, in a sense.

Worst, the company who interviewed me in Prague are recruiting again for similar roles. Not that they've had the courtesy to get back to me.

And even worst I saw the same job advert for the role in Germany to which I applied last week. That actually doesn't mean anything (sometimes the web sites repost the adverts without being asked) but it still pinches a bit.

Must keep calm.

Terminology

There are customers and customers.

In IT support terms, customers are the end-users. We call them "users" (this is possibly also the rudest work in the English language sometimes).

Anyhow end-users are also known as customers. The clients are the people who pay for the service. Clients can be customers and are often users. This vocabulary ("clients" and "customers") is part of the IT Infrastructure Library. That's the definite best practices in IT service delivery.

When you go to the shops and buy a pint of milk you are a customer of that shop.

So that's two meanings for the same word.

I saw an advert today for a Customer Services Manager in IT. So I naturally thought about users - bless them - and that sort of thing. I crafted a suitable c.v. and covering email and sent it to the recruiter. Then, in the afternoon, I phoned him.

It took a while for us - him and me - to figure out what exactly he meant by customers. But eventually it became clear that it was more a case of milk-shopper rather than end-user. And, it wasn't much of an IT job either. Bah.

Not at all exasperating

A little while ago I noticed on http://www.monster.co.uk/ a job for a team manager in Sweden. It was advertised in English and was based in Helsingborg. Not my first choice destination for the Nordics but still of interest.

It takes about 15 minutes or so for me to tailor my c.v. and write a covering email. I'm very careful about how I do this.

Less than five minutes after sending it off I receive a reply. The agency likes my c.v. which is good but the role requires a knowledge of Swedish.

I double check the advert and there's no mention of a language requirement, Swedish or other. Grrr.

The worst recruitment agency in the world

When I was looking for my second job, around a decade ago, I occassionally used this agency. They were awful, never phoned back when they said they would etc. Others agreed with me.

Today I saw they were advertising for a job in Munich. I'd be really happy to live and work there again. And it seemed an appropriate job. But ... but, it's still advertised by the worst recruitment agency in the world.

However, the office handling this is in Frankfurt not England so they may not be so bad.

A few years back I was recruiting for an Oracle DBA in the UK. I kept getting hounded by this agency. At one stage they said they'd send someone over the next day. I emphatically told them not to.

The next day the poor chap turned up. All I could do was explain the situation to him - we weren't going to interview him like this. And I left it to one of our HR people to have a go at the agency.

So I could end up flying to Munich just to discover that the "client" hadn't agreed to interview me. "Kein Weg Jose".

I may be keen to work in Europe, keener to work in Munich, keen to get another job quite soon but they're still the worst agency in the world and I'm not going to use them.

An okay day

Quite okay in fact.

I applied for four jobs today. So, it could be a bumper week.

One agency had Elvis Presley hold music. But I couldn't take it and so had to hang up. They eventually phoned back (which doesn't always happen when they say they will). Unfortunately my experience didn't totally match their requirements - which I guessed when applying - and they thought that together with my career gap it would faze their client. But they were very nice about it.

Another agency asked me to phone back at 6pm. I did and they said that they were still busy so would call me in 10 minutes. They didn't. I'm not going to bother phoning them tomorrow.

Unimportant requirement

Saw an advert for a job today which included the sentence: "Knowledge of a structured methodology is required, such as Prince 2, SSADM etc, although it is not important".

So why is it required then?

Getting motivated

At the end of last week I set myself five tasks for the weekend:

1. find out what my professional title is these days
2. re-assemble my workdesk
3. do some work on the business development front and update my other blog
4. carry-on learning Finnish and studying for the MCP in XP
5. watch TV and read randomn pages from the web.

Let's see how I got on:

Professional title

About two years ago my membership of the British Computer Society was finally accepted. And to cap it all they made me a chartered engineer. It was all rather pleasing to get this professional recognition. It meant more letters after my name (I'm also a BSc).

In fact I was struck by the irony of becoming a CEng. Whilst studying electronic engineering at university I realised I didn't want to pursue it afterwards. A big demotivator. Although I took an honours degree I steered clear of engineering in my career. And yet somehow I ended up as an engineer.

Two days after receiving these membership details I was in intensive care barely conscious.

I also received the title Chartered Information Systems Practitioner which I felt was quite apt. I used it on my c.v. and business cards.

Trawling through the BCS web site I later found that being a CEng I should use the title Chartered Information Systems Engineer instead. But I still had 450 business cards to go.

Then, this May, the BCS changed things round again. When they write to me they now add the letters BSc(Hons) CEng MBCS CITP after my name. The last one means Chartered IT Professional.

So yesterday I trawled around their web site but couldn't find much more information about this. I then changed my web site and c.v. to reflect my CITP status rather than CISP.

I rather think it's too many letter to put after one's name, especially as they nearly all relate to the same thing. So on my email signiature I put the "chartered IT professional" bit in full beneath my name as a sort of "this is what I do/am".

Not sure what to do about the business cards though.

Re-assemble workstation

As mentioned below I've done this and my life is oh so much better now.

Business development

Read the other blog site slackers! Suffice to say I like being a webmaster.

I hacked the code for the business site from my personal site.

As I was checking through it I noticed that the mailto: command wasn't working. This meant that if anyone clicked on our email address it wouldn't load up their email client to send an email to our business.

This could only mean one thing. The same problem was on my own site - which I've been using for a few years. Drat. No matter how much checking I do I still miss things.

Anyway, these errors were quickly corrected.

Studying

If you have any really good excuses I could use for not studying Finnish or XP please let me know.

Surfing

Well it was the weekend.