A week in a day

Today I applied for five jobs. My target is five per week so you can see why I chose the title.

I didn't get any calls back though.

The North-South divide
The United Kingdom is only united because we say so. "We" being the English. Frankly I've no idea how the Welsh, Scots and a few Irish fell for that "union" trick. Glad they did though, they're very useful in wars. And of course, there are other uses as well. The Scots have quite a bit of oil. The Welsh have quite a bit of sheep and the Ulster people have quite a bit of our money. Hang on, that can't be right, can it? It's not Semtex is it? Bowler hats? Maybe it's Guiness.

Even within England there's a bit of discord. There's the south of England, usually referred to as "England" and then there's the North of England.

The people in the North of England have a proud culture and very significant history. And they don't half go on about it.

The people in the south of England don't need to brag.

Today I applied for a job in Cheshire - that's well and truly in the North of England.

After a few hours I phoned the agency. His immediate question was "why do you want to move to Cheshire?"

"To have the wheels stolen from my car ... I've heard heroin is more readily available up there ... to increase the chances of catching a veneral disease ... to learn how to ask stupid questions in a daft accent".

It turns out that his client really didn't want to recruit people from outside the region. Fine with me but why didn't they say so in the advert e.g "Northern monkeys need only apply".