New competition

Who has the most complicated, time-wasting online application process?

It's a heavy field  and seems to be getting worse every day.

And today I had to go through a tortuous site and upon hitting apply was then, and only then, told that the job had been filled.

Suddenly ...

Rather paradoxically the job market in Germany increases in activity just before the start of the New Year. Which is not convenient as people here tend to be on holiday. This applies to the recruiters and those applying.

In my case I will be in England although I am still reachable. Even first interviews, near me in Munich, tend to be by phone.

Today I applied for three jobs.

Let's talk

Although I live in quite a conservative area of Europe sometimes ... well sometimes I can't be as formal as usual.

This morning I applied for a job with a fintech company. They wanted to know my salary requirements so I wrote in the email:

"... My desired salary is between [lots of money] and [lots more money] but let's talk."

Let's see how this comes across.

Updated

I've finally updated my c.v. to reflect that I have founded a startup.

It was a balance between:

• showing that I have been busy and productive this past year
• not giving the impression that I'm focussed on the startup and do not want to work for anyone else.

Actually disappointed

Although I've been looking for a job I have been rather relaxed about it as I expect my business to kick off and make me really rich.

One day.

Anyway today I received a negative response from the "sexy" job where I was interviewed and I felt a bit peeved.

Post-election blues

Although I am not American I have, and have had, close connections with the US.

And last week I attended an election party at a Wirthaus.

I left after 5am and after six beers. I needed them.

Even if I was an American I wouldn't be a Democrat although I also wouldn't be a Republican. Nevertheless I was saddened at the outcome for several reasons:

• Americans I care for (and have cared for) will be deeply upset and, especially for the women, in quite a worrying place.
• I can't see this working out from an economic perspective which ultimately means a global economic perspective.
• It means I can't go back to the US, even on visits. 

I am clearly not a Muslim - as I am typing this I have a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon to hand - but one of my ancestors was a "just about" Muslim and my name and hue could arouse suspicions.

I'm not worried about being stopped at immigration - that's happened before and is no biggie. It's more that there are so many people there who are fine with their president being a racist and fascist.

From a purely physical safety perspective I would no longer feel safe there.

Which hinders my global career. Even as a global PM I would not have gone to the more intensely Islamic countries - explaining why I am not, nor have ever been a Muslim, may have been somewhat awkward and could have gone terribly wrong (for people who do not understand English understatement google "decapitation").

I don't want to explain this to a bunch newly emboldened American thugs (I call them Americunts) whilst they are swinging at me or worse.

By the way I do know that many, maybe most, American didn't vote for the orange fascist. I also appreciate that not all those who voted for Trump would like to be called racists - I guess they would be happy being called racism-appeasers (and feel free to replace racist with misogynist - it's just that my pussy can'r be grabbed as I don't have one but I have a brownish face which can be punched or shot at).

Yeah, and I know that I have been to totalitarian and women-negative countries on business so it's not a purely principled boycott but one focussed on physical safety.

So, thanks Donny-boy and your fellow rascism-appeasers, you will no longer benefit from my awesome project management and IT management skills, let alone my dry humour and self-deprecation. Unless you continue to read this blog. Which you should.

Sexy

At yesterday's interview I had to give a presentation about the values I would bring to the role of head of IT.

I was told I had five minutes but at the actual meeting I was given ten. Which meant I could speak a bit slower.

The interview as with four people. Afterwards the HR rep apologised for the tough questions. I told her she should see me interview people.

One question asked was why did I want to work for them (a large scientific intergovernmental organisation).

I  immediately confessed that I apply for any job suitable but that this job also offered things I like doing (cultural issues, process development etc.) and also that the thing they did was ... well ... sexy.

They laughed - fortunately - it would only be sexy to scientists and engineers.

Interim

A few days ago I was contacted by an interim agency for an interim job - but not as a manager. Just an interim support technician.

Basically it was a part time job, not what I think of as interim.

I replied today (as for the last few days I was preparing for an interview for a great job (for which I was interviewed yesterday).

Hours

I've been corresponding with a recruitment agent about a job I won't get (because it is for a Scrum Master - a project method I loathe because it is insufficiently agile).

After sending some certificates - as requested - she called me and asked to confirm my salary requirements (she had been told them by a colleague of hers).

I confirmed and then she said "but this job I only for 35 hours per week, your last job was probably 40 hours" (this was all in German).

I explained that normally at my level I am working at least 50 hours per week whatever the contract says. Even in Germany - leadership roles can opt out of working time restrictions.

She'll get back to me.

Tempting

Looking through LinkedIn I just saw an interesting interim management job. Six months split between Munich (30%) and ... Bagdad.

OK, maybe I won't apply.

Wondering (the Brexit post)

Last Thursday a lot of people in the UK really didn't think things through.

As a result my future, on the face of it, looks a bit uncertain in Munich and I can see potential employers being a bit reluctant to recruit me.

I am, nevertheless, relaxed about this because:

• if my startup kicks off then I will be my employer
• I've been here for 10 years so I probably qualify for permenant residency (currently EU citizens have unrestricted rights to live in member countries and don't need permenant residency status)
• even if the UK does leave the EU it is possible that there will be a free-movement of people arrangement (like with Norway and Switzerland)
• my grandfather was Irish so I am eligible for Irish citizenship and a passport - I am, leisurely, going through the motions of gathering the details required.
• that's, kinda, how I roll.

A lot of people in the expat community here are flapping about all this, however I see opportunity:A Brexit means there will be less supply of native English speakers in Europe. So those able to stay will be in more demand. Anyway, here's some snippets about this Brexit-Sthing I wrote elsewhere:

*It's utter piffle that the government refuses to reject the voice of the people regarding this EU-thing. Only in March this year they completely ignored the people's overwhelming choice of name for a new research vessel - Boaty McBoatface - even though they had asked the public.

*Let me get this right: France becomes fifth largest economy in the world, overnight, without any effort. And one of the key people in the UK who made this possible has a French name.

*My thanks to ... for reminding me that the referendum was a kind of IQ test for the UK. Humph. Here's the irony: some people benefit from times of change. They tend to be positive, flexible and dynamic individuals with a broad outlook. The ones who will be shafted are (generalising a lot here) the ones who voted to leave.

*There's an old saying in the London banking world, something like: "The moment a banker says his bank is sound, all confidence is lost" - perhaps someone should have told Carney (Governor of the Bank of England) this. [this was the day after the vote, the pound was crashing and Carney made a "calming" announcement that he had a quarter of a trillion pounds available for liquidity - how reassuring]

*Because of the economic catastrophe that's just been voted for, a lot of UK based people will need to get off their fat, lazy arses and do some real hard work from now on. Just as well they will be losing protection of the European Working Time Directive.

*Negotiators say "If you can't walk away then you can't negotiate". But the UK has now declared it's going to walk away and will now try to negotiate.

*There's a rumour that quite a few hedge funds and financial institutions are getting ready to short Sterling - and this includes the Bank of England. [this was the day before the vote and the joke was that even the BoE had no confidence in the pound and was joining the hedge funds - I'm looking at you George Soros - in taking advantage of its imminent collapse. Actually, they may well have done a bit of this.]

*I know you're all wondering about my thoughts regarding the anti-immigration/leave votey thing in the UK. So here goes:
1. a leave vote should be good for me because a) it means there will be less supply of native English speakers in the EU (assuming I can stay here which is most likely) and b) chaos has opportunity for those who look
2. but it will be terrible for the UK economy (and probably everyone else's) for a while - obviously - perhaps for a very long time.
3. If the leave-monkeys say they will spend another 100m pounds per week on the NHS - a very good thing except for the crash of sterling after a brexit vote - then that will mean more immigrants.

I know you're all wondering about my thoughts regarding the anti-immigration/leave votey thing in the UK. So here goes:

There are probably some other issues worth considering but I am more concerned with getting my damn apps working on iOS (which will be priced in euros, dollars and any other stable currency).

*Oh and to quote Alan Price's England My England: "We're a land that's built on coal/With oil beneath the sea/We struggle to get by/So we join the EEC" (the EEC became the EU)

Almost oops

Two interviews today.

One at 11am by phone, then one at 3pm 1pm face to face.

I had agreed to both because the second one was in a suburb which was, I thought, close to the city centre.

A day or so after agreeing I looked at the map and found that the suburb was at the end of the S-bahn line.

Fortunately the telephone interview ended after 30 minutes so that gave me time to eat a banana and go out to the second one.

The first one was in English, the second in German. I explained that I can't maintain my German for over an hour and the interviewer said he'd consider it - his client is a very traditional German company.

Almost late

Despite leaving for a short trip to an interview, I forgot that not all S-bahns go straight through the city and the one that I was on suddenly veered south.

I got off and walked to the interview getting there bang on time.

The interviewer, of course, was late by about five minutes - not unusual in Germany.

He was friendly enough although he explained the rather strange structure of the company - it was though, a recruitment company and I thought I had applied for a particular position with a certain (named) company. So I wondered why I needed to be bothered by a recruitment agency's structure.

Although I had applied to an English man, in English as requested this interview was in Foreign so I may have missed a few things.

Anyway it turned out to be a non-specific interview and went on for about an hour. In Foreign. Quite exhausting.

Online jobs fair

Just now I logged into an online jobs fair.

I had tried to complete my registration last night but there was a glitch: either in their system or in me.

Anyway today it all went smoothly and I was able to peruse the fair. It was a website which rather accurately mimicked the layout of a real jobs fair.

Rather good.

The only thing was I couldn't find any suitable jobs not least as it was in German - ein IT Jobmesse run by ubivent.com who do these virtual events.

Just

The local unemployment agency obliges me to apply for one to three jobs per week.

Right now this seems to be getting a bit harder. This morning I went through 13 pages of job but could apply to none (except the ones to which I had already applied a week or so ago).

Having just closed down the web site I received an email from an agency with an urgent requirement for someone in the PMO field - which I guess I could do.

It's not exactly down my street - in fact it is in a part of Germany I haven't heard of - and it is not exactly what I do - but often I get appropriate jobs from the initial contact anyway - but it still counts as an applications.

Even more German, for a while

The manager who interviewed me over the telephone in German called me this morning, before 9am I think.

He asked me if we could have another interview at 8.30pm today. I was actually going to attend a social event but I agreed to this instead and cancelled my attendance at the other one.

My German really isn't very good and it turned out it was to meet over dinner at a rather good Wirthaus not too far away.

Another manager came along and we talked in German for about half an hour or more. The other manager had some rather nuanced question so we had to speak in English then - and after that there was no going back.

Then it got to my income requirements and it becomes quite clear that they couldn't afford me. There were also some other mismatches - although I know how to I don't tend to do the number crunching, detailed planning sides of projects.

So that concluded that although it was a very pleasant conversation as well as being professional and I did mention that I know someone who may be better suited. I will ping them on LinkedIn now.

Warum?

Yesterday evening I had an interview with a company whose head of recruitment I had met at an IT day run by the local unemployment office.

The interview went well, I think, but it was all in German.

For an hour.

I actually pointed out - in case they hadn't noticed - that my German is a bit poor (this is more or less verbatim) and they replied that they knew I had made quite a few errors (keine Scheisse Sherlock) but that it wasn't a biggie ("keine grosse Sache").

They asked for a summary of my projects which I sent them this morning. It will probably show that my main project skills and experience are mainly in office infrastructure relocation.

Fit

This morning, alarming close to lunchtime, I had a telephone interview with a VP from the company who is trying to recruit me.

It was a very good interview except for one little thing which will become apparent.

After being asked quite a few questions he asked me if I had any questions. I didn't but I voiced my two main concerns:

Concern no. 1 - I don't have German. Apparently his view was different and that German requirement was in no way required. Hmmm, not sure about that

Concern no. 2 - cultural fit. He laughed and said he noticed that but felt that it would be ok. Ummm, you noticed it, the VP of HR and another manager noticed it, and I noticed it sufficiently to raise it at an interview.

I think there might be a cultural mismatch.

I should have another conference call with another VP soon. Let's see but I really don't think it would be a good idea - for them or for me - to take this as a permanent position.

Strange

The company where I interviewed but felt there was no chance because:

• my German skills are inadequate
• I don't see - and they don't see either - a cultural fit

Now want me to have conference calls with two VPs.

You can probably hear the alarm bells going off in my head.

Although I would rather create this world-class business (see other blog) in all truth this would be a terrible fit for the reasons given above.

I will talk with them because I am an open-minded panda - and I may agree to take a freelance or interim assignment but right now I think a permanent employment would be wrong for everyone.

In fact, I suspect some desperation on their part. Worse: Germany has a six month probationary period so they could hire me as a permanent as a gap-stop and then simply let me go. Some businesses do that.

Fuck that shit.

Fit

When I interview people I have - and tell the candidates - three to five criteria.

• Can they do the job, that is, do they have the technical competence?
• Will they fit into the team?
• (Will they fit into the global team when I have a global team?)
• Will they fit into the overall corporate culture?
• Can they help the team or overall business grow and develop (depending upon point in the business cycle)?

A couple of weeks ago I had a telephone interview with a manager in the US for a project management role here in Munich.

Today I went for an interview in this local office.

It was a good interview for several reasons:

• they had no doubt I could do the project management role
• we shared a concern about my lack in German (I reached a good occupational level but have never had the opportunity to use it throughout the business day). I would be required to talk frequently with the works council (non-Germans feel free to shout "socialism is evil" while I live in one of the best and most affluent cities in the world) which would require very good levels of German.
• the pleasant but astute HR VP spotted that I get bored easily and was concerned about that.

Actually I've have had several jobs lasting three years or more but in their company people stay for much longer - even though three years is considered a long time in IT.

The other thing I detected is that the role I was applying for would be pure project management. "Do how we do things".

I tend to establish "how we do things" in companies - either formally or informally. 

Turns out I was the first interviewee and I strongly doubt they would bet back to me with anything positive. Which would be just fine. As I've written before, when a company rejects you, they are always right, though not necessarily for the right reasons.

A morning at the fair

A job hunting fair organised for IT bods by the Munich unemployment office.

I've been to job fairs in the UK but this was much better.

Being an organised panda I had shortlisted the companies I thought were appropriate - about 11 - and was  in and out within two hours.

For most of the companies I visited it was obvious that my German is a bit on the crap side. One lady, early on, however, said that I had good German but probably better English. I suggested she waited 20 minutes to hear what my German was like when I started getting tired (and fed up of the lingo).

Oh, and by the way, I have been feeling quite ill.

Good, great but ...

After talking with the head of the college on Sunday I spent the rest of the day, and yesterday morning, looking through notes and thinking about how I could lecture in PM.

I actually became excited about it - it could be a good part-time activity while I develop this business (see other blog).

Then, yesterday afternoon, I trundled over to meet the two heads of the college. All went well. There are only three hours of lectures a week and ... there's no pay for preparation work etc. Which means I would only be paid for three hours a week. Over 13 weeks.

Just not economically viable - I get more unemployment benefit. We all had a little brainstorming session to see if there was a way around this. So far, we are bureaucratically snookered.

Urgent

Actually, over the last few weeks I have been applying to jobs and even having telephone interviews.

Then yesterday (Saturday) I was going through my emails and noticed one from the president of the local AGBC.

It was a forward from a manager of a business school who is looking, urgently, for a lecturer in project management.

I sent off a quick reply outlining my interest and including my c.v.

It tends to show that email is becoming less and less useful as it is too noisy.

Short and nice

That was a quick video interview: hi ... worried that you will be too expensive ... what sort of ball park are you looking for ... oh ok, never mind.

Just one

Today I applied for one job in Munich.

It was appropriate and in - even more appropriately - was in English.

They asked for very good German skills but we'll see.